The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age. Summarise the information by selection and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The charts illustrate the main goals and locations of

people

Use synonyms

aged between 20 and 50 reported by a survey. The bar chart provides details about the 5 main aims (recreation, muscle toning, weight loss, disease prevention and mood improvement) of working out,

whereas

Linking Words

the pie chart shows percentages of 5 different locations for exercising.

Overall

Linking Words

, the primary goal of

people

Use synonyms

doing exercise is to recover.

In contrast

Linking Words

, only a minority of

people

Use synonyms

reported

to get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

active to improve their mood or lose weight.

Besides

Linking Words

, the most frequently visited location is the gym, but public venues, playgrounds and other places are

also

Linking Words

quite popular with a combined percentage of over two

fifth

Change to a plural noun

fifths

show examples

. In terms of objectives, recreation is the main goal for two

fifth

Change to a plural noun

fifths

show examples

of all

people

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

around

one quarter

Add a hyphen

one-quarter

show examples

does sports to tone their muscles and define their body. Weight loss, disease prevention and mood improvement motivate

people

Use synonyms

the least, with all three aims ranging between 10 and around 14%.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the most popular location to sweat is the gym with 35%, followed by the park with 20% of

people

Use synonyms

going there. Public sports venues, playgrounds and other places are similar in popularity with 15% each.

Submitted by leonie.zirn on Sun Sep 22 2019

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "improvement" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

197 words

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The charts below show the results of a survey of the primary exercise objectives and locations of a selected group of adults between 20 and 50 years of age. Summarise the information by selection and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses. Some people think that people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead of building them with the same style as the old house style in local areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. Many others prefer to work for a small company first. What are the different advantages in each decision?