IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion

#people #meat #fish #health #world
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It is a fact that some
people
Use synonyms
 only eat a vegetarian diet which means to completely avoid
meat
Use synonyms
 or fish because
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon might aid their
overall
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 status
as well as
Linking Words
 the entire globe.
This
Linking Words
 essay illustrates
this
Linking Words
 view, followed by my own notion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is true that some
people
Use synonyms
 consume entirely vegetarian food
because
Change preposition
to
show examples
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
show examples
 their
health
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, despite having a non-vegetarian diet.
The vegetarian
Correct article usage
Vegetarian
show examples
 food contains numerous healthy nutrients
such
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 as vitamins, minerals, proteins, and amino acids which are essential for the human body.
For instance
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, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nutritionists advise patients to consume fresh vegetables and fruits which help to recover rapidly from illness or disease in hospitals, despite consuming
meat
Use synonyms
 or fish products which contain excess fatty
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
;
hence
Linking Words
, it could worsen ill-
health
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, vegetarian foods promote the
overall
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 status of the individual.
Moreover
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, vegetarianism aids not only an individual but
also
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 the whole world. To specify, avoid animal slaughtering
such
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 as cow, ox, and buffalo for
meat
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 consumption, despite lynching animals and having
meat
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, let the animals utilize various purposes
such
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 as milk production and harvesting fields which help humans.
For example
Linking Words
, the Uttar Pradesh state administration, India
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
forbidden
Wrong verb form
forbade
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
 consumption two years back; as a result,
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 state promote agriculture and
leading
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 their lives healthy.
Thus
Linking Words
, vegetarianism helps immensely to keep the world
safely
Change the word
safe
show examples
. In conclusion, indeed, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 entirely rely on vegetarian food consumption because it promotes
overall
Linking Words
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
'
health
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aids the entire globe.
Submitted by SIVASANKAR on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Plant-based diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Deforestation
  • Water consumption
  • Mitigate climate change
  • Natural resources
  • Animal welfare
  • Humane and ethical choice
  • Healthcare costs
  • Sustainable farming
  • Legumes
  • Fruits and vegetables
  • Vegetarian
  • Vegan
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