Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

A certain group of people

are

Suggestion

of the opinion that

music

is a better way of integrating diverse cultures and different age groups. Overall, I would

opined

Suggestion

opine

that while

this

is true, we must bear in mind the demerits of

this

view.

Firstly

, opponents of

such

a view believe that

majority

Suggestion

the majority

of songs that youngsters are listening to today are full of obscene pictures and videos which is unpleasant for them.

For example

, it is a common knowledge in Nigeria homes for children not to listen to songs by Rihanna (an American musician)

bacause

for the reason that; on account of

because

of nudity she displayed in her videos.

This

has created a barrier to songs from the United State of America and Nigerians are even conscious of Americans. More

over

Suggestion

Over

, certain tracks can generate hatred for some selected few. Take for an instance, some traditional singers in a bid to make public awareness about a pressing issue, are often in the habit of directly or indirectly antagonizing authorities.

This

reminds me of a popular Nigeria musician called

Davido who

Accept comma addition

David, who

David who

opposed the government of Nigeria and supported the political ambition of his uncle. The effect of

this

was that it created

aminosity

a feeling of ill will arousing active hostility

animosity

among

Suggestion

between

the political parties in Nigeria rather than uniting them.

Although

songs

Suggestion

the songs

are good, if

targetted

a reference point to shoot at

targeted

against some cultures or age groups can result in war.

On the other hand

music

has a way of uniting people of different background and ages through organized party, concerts or travelling to another country to participate in

music

festivals. A yearly musical event is normally held in Israel and the participants included people from the middle East, Americans, Africans and majority Asians. Through songs they listened to, it has changed some of their views about Israel. Some now see that Israel citizens are

peaceful

Suggestion

more peaceful

rather than being cruel because of wars they experience yearly. It is worthy of note that when properly channelled,

music

can even bring an end to wars that we are experiencing in different parts of the world. In conclusion, I would

opined

Suggestion

opine

that on balance, while

music

can unite nations and different age category, it can

also

result in disunity if it is not monitored. I

however

believe that the benefits of

this

outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by Dammy on Tue Sep 24 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

371 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Many different countries have most shops and products as the same. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Social media has replaced the traditional methods of communication, and people use more and more social media to communicate, and to follow news and events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?