IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #age #outweigh
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In
Suggestion
At
retro time
Suggestion
the retro time
 our ancestors get married and started producing
offspings
the immediate descendants of a person
offsprings
 at
early
Suggestion
an early age
age
Use synonyms
, compared to nowadays
were
In or at or to what place
where
 people give birth later stage in
life
Use synonyms
. It is common to see
this
Linking Words
 because human needs and wants
keeps
Suggestion
to keep
 increasing everyday which comes along with more financial status.
Linking Words
Therefore one
Accept comma addition
Therefore, one
 needs to plan every well before raising up a family, another reason would be health challenges. In the
past most
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past, most
 basic amenities were freely provided by government.
However
Linking Words
, there are various benefits
for
Suggestion
of
 having kids at
later
Suggestion
a later age
age
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it gives one time to prepare for that stage in
life
Use synonyms
. The adult would want to have enough savings
to cater
Suggestion
cater
 for his
child
Use synonyms
.Take
for example
Linking Words
, a
child
Use synonyms
's education. Parents prefer to send their children to private schools which
are more expensive compare
Suggestion
have more expensive compared
are more expensive compare
 to the past when education were majorly government sponsorship.
Secondly
Linking Words
, It is imperative to grow to
maturity to
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maturity, to
 show that an adult can take care of a
child
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 before raising children, that said, they will not find any challenges they might encounter in
such
Linking Words
 new phase of
life
Use synonyms
 as disturbing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are disadvantages to generating
desendants
all of the offspring of a given progenitor
descendants
 at
later
Suggestion
a later age
age
Use synonyms
. One reason will be raising a
child
Use synonyms
 when your physical
strenght
the property of being physically or mentally strong
strength
are depleting
Suggestion
is depleted
is depleting
. It is no doubt that as we human grow
older our
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older, our
 organism gets weaker
,
Accept space
,
hence
Linking Words
 bring up a
child
Use synonyms
 requires mental and physical
strenght
the property of being physically or mentally strong
strength
.
Other
Suggestion
Another
 aspect will be not enjoying quality time with kids as they grow into youth as the adult might be too old. That said, some people
starts
Suggestion
start
 a family at
early
Suggestion
an early age
age
Use synonyms
 and run into financial stress, with little knowledge of handling some discomfort in
such
Linking Words
 phase in
life
Use synonyms
. To
conclude I
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conclude, I
 do think the advantage overcomes the disadvantages and I think the government should look to the future of providing basic facilities for families.
Submitted by gbadagri on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • delaying parenthood
  • financial stability
  • career advancement
  • personal goals
  • higher education
  • fertility treatments
  • relationship stability
  • health care improvements
  • personal development
  • postponing children
  • achieve milestones
  • family planning
  • modern society
  • life expectancy
  • paternal and maternal age
What to do next:
Look at other essays: