Some people feel that entertainers(e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid.

There is an ongoing debate about the amount of
money
actors, musicians and athletes are paid and some people think it is excessive and I agree that the resources rewarded to them is beyond the normal limit. It is true that entertainers make people feel good and they need to be paid, but I agree that the amount of cash given to them is exorbitant.
Firstly
,
this
money
paid to them makes them live extravagant lifestyles which makes them bad role models for the upcoming generation.
Furthermore
, It encourages them to believe that with a little work, just get famous and
then
you can have lots of
money
.
For instance
, the average young boy now wants to grow up to be a rapper.
Secondly
, the entertainment industry adds no real value to humanity when compared to other industries that risk their lives daily for their country. There are other types of vocation that should be highly paid and one of them is teachers. These people build up the younger generation academically and socially.
Furthermore
, they play a huge role in the lives of children by nurturing them till they are independent.
In addition
, people in the medical profession should be rewarded bountifully due to the fact that treat people, carry out surgeries for hours and do research to find cures to diseases that actually kill millions of people.
Also
, soldiers ought to be paid a lot of
money
because they risk their lives and most times pay the ultimate price to keep us safe. To conclude, without a doubt, entertainers should be paid their wages, but I think currently they are given too much remuneration when there are other types of profession that are selfless and life threatening which should be paid very high amounts of
money
.
Submitted by ebose.okonofua on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: