IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays newspapers publish information about the private lives of individuals. Some people think the government should maintain a certain control over the information that gets published, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The information which published in newspapers has brought significant change to our lives in a recent days.
there
Suggestion
There
 are various different perspectives on the issue of personal privacy in society. Some
loud it's
Accept comma addition
loud, it's
 true that government should control the media that gets published, while others think
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 not.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I personally believe that the drawbacks of the newspaper far outweigh its benefits. There are two primary reasons for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
First
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of all, it is an undeniable fact that reading a newspaper to express resulting in
serious society problem
Suggestion
serious societal problems
serious societal problem
. Despite the risk of corruption- a problem occasionally seen in people who are ordered to publish a spurious information to blame others, rather than loyal ones.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I certainly agree that info which printed in a newspaper is both beneficial and vital. Unfortunately, expectation and trust of people will decrease- it causes in later life.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, while
informations
a message received and understood
information
 is beneficial in the short terms, it's long-term effects are generally
negatively
Suggestion
negative
.
Further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 and even more importantly, though
,
Accept space
,
family issues
is
Suggestion
are
particularly good example
Suggestion
a particularly good example
 of that media could change individuals
live
go away from a place
leave
unchangeae
not made or become different
unchanged
. Now,
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 media
is concentrating
Suggestion
are concentrating
 on well-known people. Myriad of popular artist are suffering from issue of publishers are participating their own
lifes
a characteristic state or mode of living
lives
life
 and they complained it to the government.
Nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I would
content
maintain or assert
contend
 that
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
vital problem
Suggestion
the vital problem
 has generally been a very negative development. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the media
has had
Suggestion
have had
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
 on modern life,
thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of its
affect
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
effect
 to our environment. I believe that
government
Suggestion
the government
 will ban publishers.

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