At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a greater

number

Use synonyms

of young adults compared to the

number

Use synonyms

of older people.

This

Linking Words

situation has both advantages and disadvantages.

these

Suggestion

These

two

categories

of people play different roles in a

country

Use synonyms

. It is not easy to outweigh

one

Use synonyms

another. When we talk about young people, what

first

Linking Words

comes to our mind is that

this

Linking Words

category of people

are

Suggestion

the

future

Use synonyms

of a

country

Use synonyms

. If a

country

Use synonyms

do not have

Suggestion

does not have

a large

number

Use synonyms

of young

aadults

Suggestion

an adults

a adults

it's

of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"

its

future

Use synonyms

might be at stake.

Linking Words

Suggestion

the other

hand when

Accept comma addition

hand, when

the

number

Use synonyms

of senior

citizen

Suggestion

citizens

becomes larger in

number

Use synonyms

comapred

examine and note the similarities or differences of

compared

to the

number

Use synonyms

of young adults, it may

also

Linking Words

affect

one

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

badly.

the

Suggestion

The

people who are young adults today are the people who are going to be the

future

Use synonyms

leaders,

doctors engineers

Accept comma addition

doctors, engineers

and so many other

proffessionals

engaged in a profession or engaging in as a profession or means of livelihood

professionals

professions

professional

one

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

. A

country

Use synonyms

that has

large

Suggestion

a large number

number

Use synonyms

of young adults than older people can keep confidence about the well

future

Use synonyms

of that specific

country

Use synonyms

if the education system is good.

Education system

Suggestion

The education system

are

Suggestion

one

Use synonyms

of the core things that are responsible for the situation of a nation. It is the education system that

help

Suggestion

helps

todays young adults to have good and sufficient knowledge

aout

(of quantities) imprecise but fairly close to correct

about

necessary things related to individual or

country

Use synonyms

wellbeing

Suggestion

well being

Moreover

Linking Words

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

advantagesof

Suggestion

advantages of

having young adults large in

number

Use synonyms

Suggestion

are

that, these people are more

energytic

possessing or exerting or displaying energy

energetic

and charismatic in comparison with the older people. Now

refers to the speaker or writer

would like to discuss about the disadvantages of having less

number

Use synonyms

of older people and large

number

Use synonyms

of young people.

Linking Words

firstly

Suggestion

Firstly

, the knowledge level of

people

Suggestion

the people

increases with age.

Linking Words

for

Suggestion

For

example: there are huge differences between the skills of a 50

years

Suggestion

year

old

leader

Use synonyms

and a 35

years

Suggestion

year

old

leader

Use synonyms

. In the United States the

leader

Use synonyms

atleast

Suggestion

at least

60 years old and he is better experienced than the president of Saudi Arabia who is 35 years old. Neither

this

Linking Words

young

leader

Use synonyms

has good

experience

Use synonyms

of how to run a

Use synonyms

country nor

Accept comma addition

country, nor

he has any previous

experience

Use synonyms

or skills related to

this

Linking Words

Secondly

Linking Words

, the young adults learn things from the older people.

Linking Words

for

Suggestion

For

example: let us talk about life

experience

Use synonyms

Suggestion

older person has more life

experience

Use synonyms

compared to

Suggestion

young person.

there

Suggestion

There

are a lot of things that we learn from our parents and they are older than us.

Similarly

Linking Words

, young leaders can follow the footsteps of older leaders who have proper

experience

Use synonyms

of running a

country

Use synonyms

smoothly. A

country

Use synonyms

would face severe disaster if suddenly

Suggestion

young

leader

Use synonyms

takes over the power without any skills or

experience

Use synonyms

another

Suggestion

Another

example is the difference between senior doctors and young doctors. It is said that people learn with time and

experience

Use synonyms

undoubtedly

Suggestion

Undoubtedly

an older doctor would be much more skilled than a young doctor has he has

better

Suggestion

a better experience

experience

Use synonyms

. I think, the advantages of

this

Linking Words

situation where the

number

Use synonyms

of older people

are becoming

Suggestion

is becoming

less than young people does not outweigh the disadvantages.

there

Suggestion

There

should be

proper ratio

Suggestion

a proper ratio

of everything, be that

number

Use synonyms

of people in

one

Use synonyms

country

Use synonyms

Suggestion

country

Use synonyms

can never go too far if it lacks the skilled and experienced older people

beacause

for the reason that; on account of

because

it is the people who will prepare the young people for

Use synonyms

future

Suggestion

the future

aaf5623

Sep 27, 2019

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

539 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email: * give details of the purchase * explain the problem * explain why you need a replacement urgently

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