Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children #fault #parents

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

I believe that the worrying increase of infant obesity is mostly determined by negligence of the parents. For some

people though

Accept comma addition

people, though

, the main responsibility of the increasing number of obesities in children, is on the government’s shoulders. As just mentioned, some people think that

overweightness

usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it

overweights

among children is

government’s fault

Suggestion

the government’s fault

This

Linking Words

might be the case for three reasons: number one, the government should control and regulate the

food

Use synonyms

distributed in schools. What happens is that the government leaves the freedom to choose to each school what they want to have in their

food

Use synonyms

offer, and often unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

is less expensive and more popular among children than fresh

food

Use synonyms

. Number two, governments should provide a better support

Suggestion

for

less wealthy families with children, in order to give them the possibility to afford higher quality

food

Use synonyms

. Number three, the distribution of fast foods on the territory should be regulated e.g.

there

Suggestion

There

should not be any fast

food

Use synonyms

nearby a school. For those who believe that it is parents’ fault, there is one main reason why they support

this

Linking Words

idea. Parents are the ones who get to decide what their children eat during the

first

Linking Words

years, and a good

food

Use synonyms

education depends mostly on them.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if a child is gaining weight it is up to his or her parents to fix the situation. In my opinion, it is mainly

parents’ responsibility

Suggestion

the parents’ responsibility

if the children become overweight. Apart from very few cases where obesity is a genetic disease and it is not strictly related to

food

Use synonyms

, for all the other situations, the sickness depends on the amount of

food

Use synonyms

eaten.

Therefore

Linking Words

, parents are the ones who should keep under control the weight of their babies. In conclusion, I think that too often people tend to blame the government for their mistakes. Parents are the main responsible for a good health of their children. With a better

food

Use synonyms

regulation, it would be the child to prefer good quality to junk

food

Use synonyms

and there is no reason why he or she should prefer a big mac to a good grilled steak. Only with a good education the number of obesity in children will start to decrease.

Fri Sep 27 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

362 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In the era of globalization, many educationalists would want to have more international exchange visits for their students because these programs can be useful for them in many ways. I strongly believe that this idea has more advantages than disadvantages.
5
band
As computers and technology develop, they can be used to teach children and teachers won’t be necessary soon. Do you agree or disagree?
I personally agree with the motion that, as technology advancement and innovation enhance they will be used to educate learners and teachers won't be necessary because kids will learn through the websites as well as doing research online.However, it is essential for teachers be teach because it allows children to have full attention from educators and it also leads to unemployment for teachers.
7.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, a significant rise has been observed in the number of individuals questioning the merits and demerits of youngsters commencing foreign vocabulary learning at primary educational facilities rather than secondary institutes. This essay will discuss the benefits and potential drawbacks of early foreign language teaching, ultimately asserting that the positives prevail.
<4
band
Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?
Few individuals think that courses that important to the society should be paid by the governments to students , while other think that students who enroll into less relevant subjects should not be funded by the government. This essay will argue that advantages of this outweigh the drawbacks.
4.5
band
Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school, as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Conducting assessments at post-secondary schools is an important feature of education. However, there is debate as to whether exams prepare students for the future. I would agree they do and elaborate on my points in the following paragraphs.

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

As computers and technology develop, they can be used to teach children and teachers won’t be necessary soon. Do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school, as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?