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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart compares information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of social networking websites visited by
people
Use synonyms
 in Canada in the
years
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 2014 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
people
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 visiting
one
Use synonyms
 social media website is the highest in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years
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. Usage of social media has slightly increased in
one
Use synonyms
year
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
people
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 using multiple sites
also
Linking Words
 increased in
one
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year
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. The
number
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 of social networking
site
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users
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 slightly went up by 1% in 2015, leaving just above 20% of
people
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 with no social media.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
users
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, who only registered for
one
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 social networking
site
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 declined by 8%. Multiple
site
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users
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 increased from 2014 to 2015, with 2015 registering slightly more
users
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 in two sites with nearly around 25% in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years
Use synonyms
. Three
site
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users
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 were 12% in 2014, It went up by 4% in 2015 making 16% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 population use three sites. Four-
site
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users
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also
Linking Words
 went up by 3% in
one
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year
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the total population of five
site
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users
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 doubled in a
year
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. In both
years
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, five
site
Use synonyms
users
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 are minimum with 2% and 4% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, years, one, year, site, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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