Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, such as army. While others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. What is your opinion?

The indictment of women i
n to
Suggestion
in
into
the security forces,
such
as police or in the army, into the roles and the numbers same as men, has received divided opinions. While some welcome the idea others object the o
bject it
Accept comma addition
object, it
citing a wrong notion, that women are incapable of
such
jobs.
This
essay will describe the reasons to support the
gender
equality in the forces of internal and external security forces.
Firstly
, the perception of
gender
bias needs to be removed from the society. Most of the developing countries already have policies for it, but there is a paucity in implementation at the grass root level.
Moreover
, rural demographics of certain areas are insular to
such
reforms.
For example
, the practice of minor girls getting married is practiced by their parents in tribal areas of the Indian state, Chhattisgarh.
This
is often done to prevent women t
o get
Suggestion
getting
into mainstream jobs other than household chores. Necessary public awareness and strict implementation of laws against child marriages can result in b
right future
Suggestion
a bright future
for w
oman.
Suggestion
women
a woman
Secondly
, the c
aliber
a degree or grade of excellence or worth
calibre
of women is often underestimated, even in well developed and most educated societies.
This
is a serious concern which can only be addressed by supporting women to get into different roles and create an environment to grow. Even 1% of s
uccess
Suggestion
the success
of
such
initiatives can result in removal of wrong notions about women. There are many famous female achievers around the globe,
for example
, l
ight weight female boxer,
Suggestion
a light weight female boxer
Mary Kom has risen from a rural background and went on to win Olympic gold, being a mother. Many
such
role models exist in I
ndian Navy,
Suggestion
the Indian Navy
Air force and the famous personality Kiran Bedi, a fearless police officer, which have disproven the inability of w
oman
Suggestion
the woman
women
a woman
to do jibs in security forces.
Finally
, the social perception of
gender
bias needs to be curbed by conducting awareness camps in rural areas and many more work opportunities should be declared
gender
neutral, to increase the intake of the female officers in the police and military forces
such
as A
rmy.
Suggestion
the Army

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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