The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

There is no doubt these days that one of the fundamental roles of
school
is to develop children
for
Suggestion
in
the modern (present day) world. The question is, should the education system focus on the useful subjects and ignore others
such
as arts and
music
? In
this
essay, I’m going to discuss whether is it essential to incorporate both
music
and
arts
Suggestion
the arts
into the education system in schools or not and I will try to draw a reasonable conclusion. On one hand, some people believe that the
school
curriculum should be relied on the academical and practical subjects
such
as science, information technology, mathematics, and history, rather it focusses
in
Suggestion
on
other non-useful areas including arts and
music
. The reason support
this
given claim is that not all students show the same interest in
music
and
arts
Suggestion
the arts
. To illustrate
further
, both
music
and
arts
Suggestion
the arts
could be learned outside the
school
in private institutions, which are specialized in these two areas.
Therefore
, the
school
is the only place to teach academic and practical subjects.
On the other hand
, others believe that arts and
music
should be incorporated into
school
syllabus.
This
is because the
school
should introduce these two areas to their students,
therefore
, they can realize whether they have an interest in one of them or not.
Furthermore
,
music
can increase the students' intelligence.
For example
, some research shows that a person who plays
musical instrument
Suggestion
a musical instrument
well has
better opportunity
Suggestion
a better opportunity
to master academic subjects quickly because tones that they produce in the
music
can stimulate their creativity, imagination and comprehension.
On
Suggestion
In
conclusion,
although
some people agree that the
school
system should be focused on practical subjects and remove others like
music
and arts, I totally agree that both
arts
Suggestion
art
and
music
are equally important as information technology,
hence
, they should be introduced in the
school
syllabus especially in the elementary
school
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contentious
  • contemporary
  • correlation
  • foster
  • emotional intelligence
  • narrow students’ perspectives
  • critically
  • creatively
  • interdisciplinary
  • introspective
  • integration
  • debate
  • curriculum
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