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Band 4.5

Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education. How far do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #governments #money #arts #education
Education
 is the vital in the development of any
country
. I believe it is necessary to invest more government's budget
into
Suggestion
in
 schools and educational facilities
instead
 of spending too much
money
 for
arts
Suggestion
the arts
, because once
education
 is developed, other sides of the
country
, including
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 and culture are
also
 improved.
Firstly
,
development
Suggestion
the development
 of
education
 facilitates decrease in
unemployment ratio
Suggestion
the unemployment ratio
 of a
country
 through improving
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 skills, and
therefore
national economy
Suggestion
the national economy
 grows up. As the result, national gross income increases and government can have more budgets for other fields,
such
 as culture, arts, healthcare
etcectra
more than is needed, desired, or required
extra
.
For instance
, employees with high skills can earn more so, they have to pay more tax for
government
Suggestion
the government
. Government can use
this
money
 to develop other sectors which are somehow out of consideration.
Moreover
, investing in
education
also
 means investing on arts because many arts subjects are taught in schools.
Secondly
, building new schools, purchasing educational facilities or supporting for teachers and students in poor rural areas, need a large amount of
money
. In Vietnam, a lot of students do not have
chance
Suggestion
a chance
the chance
 to go to school, or they have to stop learning because of tough financial conditions of their family.
Besides
 that, in many undeveloped areas, educational infrastructure is limited, learning resources are incomplete, facilities are too old and
need be renewed
Suggestion
need to be renewed
.
Education
 effects on many other national fields and plays
a
Suggestion
an
 important role in
development
Suggestion
the development
 of any
country
. For these reasons above, I agree that governments ought to spend less
money
 on arts and invest more in
education
.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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