Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education. How far do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #governments #money #arts #education

Education

is the vital in the development of any

country

. I believe it is necessary to invest more government's budget

into

Suggestion

schools and educational facilities

instead

of spending too much

money

for

arts

Suggestion

the arts

, because once

education

is developed, other sides of the

country

, including

economy

Suggestion

the economy

and culture are

also

improved.

Firstly

development

Suggestion

the development

education

facilitates decrease in

unemployment ratio

Suggestion

the unemployment ratio

of a

country

through improving

labor

a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages

labour

skills, and

therefore

national economy

Suggestion

the national economy

grows up. As the result, national gross income increases and government can have more budgets for other fields,

such

as culture, arts, healthcare

etcectra

more than is needed, desired, or required

extra

For instance

, employees with high skills can earn more so, they have to pay more tax for

government

Suggestion

the government

. Government can use

this

money

to develop other sectors which are somehow out of consideration.

Moreover

, investing in

education

also

means investing on arts because many arts subjects are taught in schools.

Secondly

, building new schools, purchasing educational facilities or supporting for teachers and students in poor rural areas, need a large amount of

money

. In Vietnam, a lot of students do not have

chance

Suggestion

a chance

the chance

to go to school, or they have to stop learning because of tough financial conditions of their family.

Besides

that, in many undeveloped areas, educational infrastructure is limited, learning resources are incomplete, facilities are too old and

need be renewed

Suggestion

need to be renewed

Education

effects on many other national fields and plays

Suggestion

important role in

development

Suggestion

the development

of any

country

. For these reasons above, I agree that governments ought to spend less

money

on arts and invest more in

education

Mon Sep 30 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education. How far do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations. Would it be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, or to develop new towns in rural areas?

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, waves and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal ,oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Universities should take the same number of men and women in each major. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?