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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given.

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information given.
#line #visits #australia #residents #information #country #origin #visitors #report #university #lecturer
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The given line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of visits to
Australia
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 by foreign
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 per year
while
Linking Words
 the table specifies the visit per country that took place
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1975 to 2005. There has been a
gradually
Change the adverb
gradual
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 increase
Change preposition
in visit
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visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
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 from 1975 to 1985
while
Linking Words
 the
number
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 goes doubled from 984 to 1995 as seen from the given chart.
However
Linking Words
, compared to 1975,
in
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apply
show examples
2005 the
number
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 of foreign
visitors
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 has
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 dramatically from 8.8 to 30.4 in 2005.
furthermore
Linking Words
, among all the given six
countries
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 Japan and South Korea
has
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have
show examples
 the greatest
number
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 of
visitors
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 to
Australia
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 in 2005 compared to 1975 as mentioned in
table
Add an article
the table
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, South Korea:
2.9
Add a missing verb
was 2.9
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1975 and 9.1 in 2005; Japan
3.2
Add a missing verb
was 3.2
show examples
 in 1975 to 12.0 in 2005. Meanwhile,
china
Change the capitalization
China
show examples
 is lying at the bottom with the lowest
visitors
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 of
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Australia
Change preposition
in Australia
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 up to just 0.3 million people which gradually increase
up
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apply
show examples
to 0.8 in 2005 as compared to other
countries
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mention
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mentioned
show examples
 in the table.
overall
Linking Words
, compared to 1975 the
number
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 of foreign
visitors
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 has been increasing, reaching a quite high
number
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 of
visitors
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 of 32 million to
Australia
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while
Linking Words
 having a majority of
visitors
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 from south
korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
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 and japan.
In
Change preposition
On
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contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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, the least
number
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 of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 are from china, but it
safe
Add a missing verb
is safe
show examples
 to say that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the visit to
Australia
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 from Asia
countries
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 than western
countries
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, australia, visitors, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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