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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behavior. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behavior
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Nowadays, with the
use
Use synonyms
 of technology the entertainment industry and gaming has changed significantly over the years. Many people think that
effect
Use synonyms
 on
society
Use synonyms
 is due to television and computer games. But some are in
opinion
Suggestion
the opinion
 that it has a drastic
effect
Use synonyms
 on people.
This
Linking Words
 is essay will both sides of the opinion and suggest my opinion. The
use
Use synonyms
 of technology in gaming has given a realistic
aporoach
move towards
approach
 to it, with graphic
effect
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 you can feel like you are playing it.
For example
Linking Words
 the PS4 which you do action and it played on it. The Television industry now are using
graphic
Suggestion
a graphic effect
effect
Use synonyms
 in action movies,
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 in fight scene they
use
Use synonyms
 it and give actual experience to people. By the
use
Use synonyms
, of it feel of both television and computer has changed. The
voilence
an act of aggression (as one against a person who resists)
violence
balance
valance
 is
show
Suggestion
shown
 in more important in very different ways, which has an
effect
Use synonyms
 on specially
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 and youth. They learn by watching
it but
Accept comma addition
it, but
 the problem is
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
try
Suggestion
trying
 them with friends, and its
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 might
Use synonyms
effect
have an effect upon
affect
 the
kids
Suggestion
kids'
 future or can take
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 to wrong ways.
Although
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, some believe that family is
were
In or at or to what place
where
 the people learn, if they are though wrong things at family or
society
Use synonyms
then
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 they will go in wrong directions. So every
habbit
an established custom
habit
 you get from family is what
mattters
a vaguely specified concern
matters
 in the growth of the individual.
For instance
Linking Words
, smoking is shown
in
Suggestion
on
 Television or Games,
society
Use synonyms
 will have a very less impact, but if a family member smokes
then
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indivudal
a human being
individuals
individual
 will go
an
Suggestion
a
 try it. To conclude, It is the responsibility of the
society
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 and government to share knowledge which about its benefits and drawbacks. I
stongly
with strength or in a strong manner
strongly
 believe that other
factor
Suggestion
factors
 influence the
people
Suggestion
person's
peoples'
peoples
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 in the
society
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • proliferation
  • desensitize
  • empathetic response
  • aggressive behavior
  • formative years
  • impressionable
  • catharsis
  • media psychology
  • mixed results
  • family environment
  • genetics
  • regulatory bodies
  • rating systems
  • vulnerable demographics
  • inappropriate content
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