It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

day and age, learning about

history

Use synonyms

is essential for individuals as it helps enhance social knowledge and foster national development.

History

Use synonyms

has become a compulsory subject in school curriculums.

However

Linking Words

, studying local

history

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

important than studying world

history

Use synonyms

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is a controversial topic.In my point of view, I strongly believe that learning local

history

Use synonyms

is more crucial for

students

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

for

show examples

some reasons. The first reason is that through local

history

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

can gain a deeper understanding of what their country has gone through in the past.

For example

Linking Words

, pupils in Quang Tri Citadel, where many battles during the anti-American resistance took place.Through

this

Linking Words

, they can not only understand the hardships faced by previous generations but

also

Linking Words

appreciate the sacrifices and fighting spirit for national independence.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a profound

comprehending

Replace the word

comprehension

show examples

of local

history

Use synonyms

fosters a stronger sense of community and encourages individuals to actively contribute to preserving and promoting traditional cultural heritage.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the

history

Use synonyms

of the homeland is not only a record of past events

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

a valuable lesson for the present and the future.To exemplify

this

Linking Words

, past mistakes and failures

such

Linking Words

as wars, famines, and invasions have helped the current generation avoid them.

In addition

Linking Words

, by learning about a place’s past and

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

show examples

, people can find ways to attract more visitors and improve the local economy, contribute to

preserve

Change the verb form

preserving

show examples

cultural diversity in a world

that is

Linking Words

becom

Correct your spelling

becoming

become

globalization. In conclusion,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

my opinion, I believe that local

history

Use synonyms

is extremely important for

students

Use synonyms

because it helps

students

Use synonyms

to understand their origins and valuable lessons,

contribute

Correct word choice

and contribute

show examples

develop

Change the verb form

developing

show examples

their country.

midden-02.toreWed Sep 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Clarify your view more explicitly and ensure it's stated clearly in both the introduction and conclusion. This will strengthen your position and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

Smooth the transitions between sentences and ideas to enhance the flow of the essay. Using linking words effectively can make the essay more coherent.

introduction conclusion present

Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly states and restates your position on the topic.

relevant specific examples

Effective use of examples, such as the Quang Tri Citadel example, which supports your arguments well.

logical structure

A well-organized structure that follows a logical sequence makes it easy for the reader to understand your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?
Highschool student mandatory for studying art. This writer argues that they should have an art class to improve their skills and creativities in voluntary.
6
band
You have decided to set up a business for which you want to avail the facility of bank loan. Write a letter to the bank manager requesting for information about the bank loan and in your letter, write the following: Why you are writing the letter What is the amount of bank loan you need When you are able to repay the loan
I hope this email finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing this letter to get proper information about bank loan. Because I want to start a small business. So that I need a lot of money. For instance, I need take a money $150 000.I want to start a perfume company.The company must be a comfortable for employees and consumers.In addition,I am planning to give money and gifts to the workers every weekend for their good work, please give me more money for this.The intention of revealing this statement shows that
5
band
Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both side and give your opinion?
For national economy, the public have divided into two ideas.On other hand, citizens think that purchasing is the beneficial way, and the rest of them think not purchasing is better than the above one.This essay will outline the both aspects , and in my opinion spending is silghtly better than the other had mentioned.
7
band
The Internet is generally considered as a blessing for mankind. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Social media is often regarded as a privilege for individuals, offering numerous benefits such as facilitating business-to-business transactions, serving as a communication tool, and functioning as a learning platform. These advantages are believed to outweigh the drawbacks of cyberbullying and addiction.
6
band
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the reasons behind this trend? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge.
Nowadays, an increasing number of developing countries’ specialists are working for developed countries’ companies, such as educational and medical industries. This is mainly because of a shortage of educational and research facilities and limited career prospects. There are some solutions that can be taken to solve brain drain.

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important for children's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both side and give your opinion?

The Internet is generally considered as a blessing for mankind. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?