IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Study shows that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

#study #criminals #level #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job
Research on criminals revealed that poor
education
 has mainly affected them. In order to address
this
 issue, few people suggest a method which is to provide
education
 during their stay in prison. In my opinion, I would welcome
this
 approach and add a few more points to the
education
 system. In today's world with rapid population
rate
crime
 rates are
also
 on a verge. From the various
studies
Suggestion
study's
study
studies'
result
Suggestion
results
, it is well known that less literacy
rate
 is the major reason.
However
, prison is not only for punishment but
also
 for a chance to change.
Firstly
, the analysis of
crime
Suggestion
criminal
 background should be studied so that we can identify the type of syllabus to be provided. Teaching different moral values based on their
crime
 type will act a remuneration factor. Though imposing basic trainings in day to day jobs will help them to develop
survivability
 skills in society.
For instance
, an uneducated person without any job skill is easily tempted to make a robbery which can be reduced by giving that person a good job training.
Secondly
, constant involvement in various NGO activities may help them to feel less lonely. Even though they can be educated, but getting a job
also
 should be considered. Not all prisoners
accept
take exception to
except
 to learn which makes us prepare for an alternative way of educating them. A proper awareness needs to be given to each individual for the need of
education
. Despite all these factors play well, the
crime
 rates will come down. To conclude, Increase in literacy
rate
 is directly proportional to less
crime
rate
 in the society. Though giving jailers a
second
 chance, it will really help them to lead a proper life. A very good example is showing the success stories of previous ones. I strongly believe that by making
this
 happen, we can build a healthy environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: