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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people prefer to stay in the same type of work all their life, whereas others prefer to change the type of work. Discuss both sides and state your own opinion

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Nowadays, A wide range of people adopt a preconceived notion
to
Change preposition
of
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 remaining permanently in a similar kind of job,
while
Linking Words
 others declare to switch their professional fields. The following paragraphs will discuss both points of view. On the one hand, a considerable proportion of citizens
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
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 a unique job in order to maintain a balanced financial situation.
In other words
Linking Words
, a worker who stays a long period in the same firm would be rewarded
by
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with
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 fringe benefits and
salary’s
Change noun form
salary
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 augmentation.
Moreover
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, he may generally appreciate a stable economic life which allows him to expand his personal boundaries and social relationships. As reported in a study conducted by HV University in 2002, the majority of personnel who operate under unique companies are successful and prosperous.
Thus
Linking Words
, the fiscal status of a labourer is the main cause
to preserve
Change preposition
of preserving
show examples
 a constant profession.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, attaining a higher level of career satisfaction is a compelling reason for an array of individuals to change different jobs.
In other words
Linking Words
, numerous professionals are feeling stuck in their current
post
Fix the agreement mistake
posts
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 where their experience and knowledge could complement an upper management position.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having issues with leadership at the present workplace can seriously affect the personal career plans of a worker and oblige him to choose another suitable working environment. To demonstrate, when I
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 working with an international organization, I was able to expand my background by working on
large scale
Add a hyphen
large-scale
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 projects.
Hence
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, professional achievement incentivizes people to modify the type of work. In conclusion, various personals prefer to stay in one working domain whilst others tend to modify their initial jobs.
According to
Linking Words
 my way of thinking, I believe that stability in professional life leads to a sustainable lifestyle.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the scope of your essay and includes a thesis statement that previews your opinion. This will help set up the expectation for the reader.
coherence
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the overall flow of your essay. For example, using phrases like 'On the contrary' or 'Conversely' can better signal contrasting ideas.
coherence
Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the point you will discuss. This will enhance logical structure and make your arguments clearer.
coherence
Make sure to avoid unnecessary repetition of phrases, such as 'a considerable proportion of citizens,' by varying your wording to maintain reader interest.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more specific and relevant. Including explicit details would strengthen the argument and provide clearer insights.
task achievement
You made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced essay.
task achievement
You provided a personal example which helps to illustrate your point of view effectively.
coherence
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the two perspectives discussed in the essay, reinforcing your main idea.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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