Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Job
seeking is always an arduous problem that a fresh graduate has to deal with when they enter the
job
market for the first time. Some
people
believe that teenagers should have
a
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apply
show examples
full freedom to choose their occupations,
whereas
others contend that youngsters should think in a more practical way by considering the
career
prospect
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prospects
show examples
of the
job
. On the one hand, if young
people
can choose a
career
of their own free will, they will have more passion and motivation towards the
career
. They will devote more of themselves
into
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to
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the
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their
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career
, because it is something they love, assuming they choose an occupation that
fit
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fits
show examples
their own interest.
As a result
,
this
can allow them to perform well in the workplace as their passion would act as a
driven
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driving
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force to push them
further
, thinking about how to excel in their occupation.
Moreover
, those performing well in the workplace are always regarded as having better interpersonal
relationship
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relationships
show examples
. It is because they have more confidence to communicate with their colleagues, given that they are doing well in the
job
.
By contrast
, if a youngster is forced to choose an occupation he
do
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does
show examples
not like, he will just perform the daily routine of the
job
without thinking about how to improve his performance. It turns out that he would be frustrated and failed to be a high-flyer in the company.
On the other hand
, opponents think that fresh graduates should pick their
career
in a more realistic way of evaluating the
career
path and the salary that a
job
can offer them.
For instance
, a graduate who is good at biology
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
now
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
two choices which are becoming a biology teacher or an animal researcher. If he thinks in a practical way, he will choose
biology
Correct article usage
a biology
show examples
teacher, which can guarantee him a promising
career
path and a decent salary.
Consequently
, he will not choose
researcher
Correct article usage
a researcher
show examples
because is it difficult to get a promotion in the research field since there is no clear promotion standard. The example proved that it is always necessary to think realistically when
people
have to earn a living.
In addition
, it is normal that
people
have to earn enough fortune before they pursue their
dream
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dreams
show examples
. From my point of view, the conclusion is young
people
should consider more the solid
factor
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factors
show examples
before they acquire a
job
or else they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
regret
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
what they did
due to
the low salary or poor
prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
show examples
. Pursuing own interest is normal, but it is necessary to have enough savings first.
Submitted by billychung99 on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a stronger, more engaging conclusion that reinforces your viewpoint.
relevant specific examples
Include a variety of examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. This will make your points more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Revise sentences for grammatical accuracy. For instance, replace `he do not like` with `he does not like`. Small errors affect clarity.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured, with clear arguments for both sides of the discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and help to structure the essay.
supported main points
The main points are supported with examples, making the arguments solid and credible.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career trajectory
  • job satisfaction
  • employment prospects
  • financial stability
  • job security
  • economically viable
  • harnessing potential
  • labor market
  • vocational guidance
  • real-world demands
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