IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
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The given bar chart illustrates that people aged 65 and 65 plus over the 100 year period (from 1940 to 2040) in Japan, Sweden and the USA. Overall, it has shown that the US country highest population of age 65 and over, whereas Japan country population fewer of age 65 and more than 65.
First
Linking Words
 of all, the USA and Japan were counted nearly 10% and 5% of older people aged between 65 to over 65 in 1940, while Japan did not change below 5
percent
Use synonyms
 till 1980.
However
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, the US gradually rose almost 5
percent
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 in 1980 and it will be remaining till 2020.
In addition
Linking Words
, Japan would be crossing over 2020 below 20% towards the USA and above 20
percent
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 of Sweden.
Hence
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, It significantly the growth of population by age 65 and over 65 approximately 27% in 2040. In comparing to Sweden only 7% in the starting year and it increased below 15
percent
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 and crossing the USA in 2000.
Next
Linking Words
, it gradualy picked almost 20
percent
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 in 2020, but it drametically growth almost 25%
Submitted by anitanaika19 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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