IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that managerial posts in private companies and in government are more suitable for men. Others think that given the opportunity women can be successful managers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #posts #companies #government #men #opportunity #women #managers
Due to modernisation and technological advancements, almost everyone is working irrespective of the gender to fulfil their growing needs and livelihood. Some inhabitants are of the view that males are fit for authoritarian positions in private as well as public sector. But some opponents think that chances should be given to females and they can manage all the activities of the
office
 very well. I enunciate my opinion in the subsequent paragraphs.
Firstly
, discrimination on the basis of gender should not be there, while assigning a duty to a person in the
office
 because there is no link between sex of an individual and his/her intellectual level. But some people think that to higher positions, men should be appointed because they have less responsibilities in their homes and they can stay late in the offices to fulfil the requirements.
Moreover
, males seldom take leave from work like maternity leave.
On the other hand
, some individuals think that more chances for management of the
office
 should be given to women as they are more patient and hard-working than men. They consistently do every task very accurately.
Moreover
, to eliminate
differences
Suggestion
the differences
 of males and females,
upliftment
 of women should be done by appointing them for
significant purpose
Suggestion
significant purposes
a significant purpose
. According to my opinion, biased behaviour of employers should not be there, while interviewing the persons for various jobs in the
office
, We cannot decide the person`s capabilities by taking their gender into consideration.
Submitted by JAS on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: