IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

An increasing number of advertisements on TV aim at children. What are the effects of television advertising? Should television advertising be controlled.

#advertisements #tv #aim #children #effects #television
Nowadays, there is a growing concern the fact that the index of advertisements on TV aim at children. Television advertising brings about some effects.
Moreover
, I think television advertising should be controlled. On the one hand, some consequences related to associated with
this
 issue should be mentioned. The most serious effect is that parents must waste money for unnecessary things. Seeing that their children asked to buy items attracting them on TV. Another detrimental impact is that children will become
unobeyed
not paid
unpaid
, spoilt or greedy for toys, video games and comics.
Moreover
, parents are difficult to teach them because children are controlled by TVC. Since
such
 issues are serious, the governments and individuals should take steps immediately to address these problems.
Firstly
, avoiding advertisements that
effects
the conscious subjective aspect of feeling or emotion
affects
 people’s lives, governments should
enhanced
Suggestion
enhance
 more the stricter laws the ad’s contents.
As a result
,
commercials
Suggestion
the commercials
 will have better contents which appropriate
to
Suggestion
for
 children. Another method is to have a warning at the beginning of each ad to remind parents to watch commercials with their kids.
Last
 but not least, families
also
 play a crucial role in controlling the ads content and decide whether if the ads are suitable for children.
Therefore
, they can stand up against the irrelevant advertisements.
Submitted by vuyen4816 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: