IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is considered by many people that
school
Use synonyms
-going children should spend their free
time
Use synonyms
 on schoolwork rather than other activities. I disagree with the statement because childhood years are an important part of human life, and it is the best
time
Use synonyms
 to do anything that mind says.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reason why children should not invest their whole
time
Use synonyms
 doing studies. One compelling reason is the significance of extra-curricular activities.
Extra-curricular
Suggestion
Extracurricular
 activities play a vital role in
children
Suggestion
child
child's
children's
 mental development. It helps children in developing skills like coordination, creative thinking and problem solving, which are a crucial part of professional life. If
juvenile
Suggestion
the juvenile
 spends all their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 on education,
then
Linking Words
 they may not be able to develop these skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, the rising number of
Use synonyms
school
Suggestion
schools
 are making sports, music, acting etc.
as
Suggestion
As
 a compulsory part of the
school
Use synonyms
 curriculum.
This
Linking Words
proofs
Suggestion
proof
 how
much
Suggestion
many
 important these activities are for pupils overall
development
Suggestion
developed
developing
developable
developmentally
developmental
developers
. Another vital point is the waste of children
talent
Use synonyms
. It is the reality that not everyone in
this
Linking Words
 world
poses
have as an attribute, knowledge, or skill
possess
 the same type of
talent
Use synonyms
. The
talent
Use synonyms
 of the individual varies based on many things.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if children commit themselves to
school
Use synonyms
studies
Accept comma addition
studies, then
then
Linking Words
 they may never recognise their
talent
Use synonyms
 and remain mediocre for life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, educational qualification is not the only way to become successful.
Menu
Suggestion
Many
 famous people like Sachin Tendulkar, Albert Einstein etc.
were
Suggestion
We're
Were
 poor students at
Use synonyms
school but
Accept comma addition
school, but
 still, they achieved great height in their profession. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 education qualification is imperative in the highly competitive market, spending some hours on other activities is beneficial in mental development and in recognising inner
talent
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, children should equally indulge in other activities as studies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: