IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree on disagree ?

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Many individuals believe that putting
prisoner
Suggestion
the prisoner
a prisoner
prisoners
 into re-education
camp
Use synonyms
 as a replacement for imprisonment when people are
mark
Suggestion
marked
markedly
 as criminals is the best solution for the ones who violate the law. I totally agree with that idea because it helps prisoners to get a better treatment and have a change to redo their
life
Use synonyms
. When prisoners are in re-education
camp
Use synonyms
, they can get
good
Suggestion
better
 treatment and facilities that prepared for criminals. Individuals with criminal records tend to lock up in cells and cannot communicate to others, but in
Use synonyms
camp they
Accept comma addition
camp, they
 can talk with anyone and in a good way that make prisoners to lower their intensity.
For example
Linking Words
, if criminals making friends, they can put down their wariness about their
surrounding
the environmental condition
surroundings
 as they have a normal dialogue.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can learn how to live from the mistakes of others which helps them to reduce the chance they commit crimes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they have chances to learn more knowledge and training for jobs which they intend to apply when in re- education
camp
Use synonyms
. It helps criminals to have
purposes
Suggestion
a purpose
purpose
 in
life
Use synonyms
 and better preparation for their departure when they
are left
Suggestion
are leaving
leave
 prison.
In addition
Linking Words
, while spending time in prison to learn and redeem their crime,
people which
Accept comma addition
people, which
 have criminal records can get a chance to redo their
life
Use synonyms
. After they finish serving their sentence and left
camp
Use synonyms
, with the knowledge and career training are obtained when in prison, criminals can get jobs accepted. As a
first
Linking Words
 step to live like a normal person, they can make a living with their jobs and access to many things they dream to have.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
 in a big house while having a big family that give them hope and support which never occur before. That
make
Suggestion
makes
 people with criminal records can get a success in
life
Use synonyms
 if we use a right method to deal with them. To be concluded, with the help of re-education
camp
Use synonyms
, I believe a better future will be created for individuals who commit crime because
camp
Use synonyms
 helps prisoners to involve a good environment and have a chance to redeem their crimes.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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