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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that young people should spend their free time with teir families instead of enjoying outside entertainment. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #teir #families #entertainment
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When discussing whether young people should spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with their families, rather than enjoying entertainment by themselves, one should bear in mind the complexity of the issue.
Although
Linking Words
 some people believe it is important for people to spend leisure
time
Use synonyms
 without their families, in order to meet and engage with new friends, others think that free
time
Use synonyms
 should be used for
familiy
a social unit living together
family
ancounters
come together
encounters
encounter
 only. In my
opinion
Use synonyms
, young people should spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with their families, in order to avoid the financial
expences
amounts paid for goods and services that may be currently tax deductible (as opposed to capital expenditures)
expenses
experiences
 and individual risks associated with it. In
this
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 essay, I will provide examples and
arfuments
a fact or assertion offered as evidence that something is true
arguments
 to support my
opinion
Use synonyms
. One argument in favour of my
opinion
Use synonyms
, is that people should spend their free
time
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 with their families because it is less expensive, in comparison to individual outside entertainment.
For example
Linking Words
, an article
by
Suggestion
from
in
 the New York Times published in 2008 reported that young people who
prefered
more desirable than another
preferred
 to attend music festivals without their families spent 20,000 dollars more
anually
without missing a year
annually
 on leisure events in comparison to other people.
This
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 is because expenses
such
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 as gasoline, hotels and food are being paid by the individual, rather
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then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 being shared by the entire family.
This
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 example illustrates that family
activites
any specific behavior
activities
 are much more economical and cheap. Another view to support my
opinion
Use synonyms
, is that young people who spend
time
Use synonyms
 without their beloved ones, are more exposed to
dengarous
involving or causing danger or risk; liable to hurt or harm
dangerous
dangers
 substances. To illustrate, in a recent poll done by the Israeli government among men 18-25 years of age, more
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then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 40% reported trying
ilegal
prohibited by law or by official or accepted rules
illegal
 drugs and 40% reported being drunk at least once during a music festival they attended with their friends.
This
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 shows, that when spending
time
Use synonyms
 without their families, people are prone to try new, and risky activities. In conclusion, I maintain that young people should spend more of their free
time
Use synonyms
 with their
familiy
a social unit living together
family
families
, because it is cheaper and safer. More so, it is the best
time
Use synonyms
 to now our parents and brothers and realize they are
truely
in accordance with truth or fact or reality
truly
 our best friends.
Submitted by chilafp on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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