According to a recent study, the more time people used the internet the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seing the internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion?

#study #time #people #internet #beings #communication #possibilities #effect #interaction

A recent study has shown that people

spends

Suggestion

spend

more time on

internet

Suggestion

the internet

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

relating

with

Suggestion

human being,

although

the

internet

has helped the world communication

positively but

Accept comma addition

positively, but

significantly have

negative effect

Suggestion

a negative effect

on our

relationship

with others in our day to day activities.

Firstly

, the use of

internet

Suggestion

the internet

in communication in our environment of today has really contributed positively to the economy and social life by the use of email,

facebook

Suggestion

Facebook

and so on.

For instance

, the people you never dreamed of talking to or knowing in the whole part of the world will be communicated with.

Moreso

United States rock singer (1943-1971)

Morrison

, by sending email to people on

business transaction

Suggestion

business transactions

a business transaction

, within few

seconds you

Accept comma addition

seconds, you

get your feedback and know the

step to take.

However

this

has caused so many people not to be able to

bould

make by combining materials and parts

build

bold

bolt

relationship

with

freinds

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

friends

or neighbours which can result to low self esteem. Having

relationship

Suggestion

a relationship

with human being helps in building

ones

Suggestion

one's

inter-personal

occurring among or involving several people

interpersonal

skills

such

as morale, trust, thereby when found in the midst of different people or crowd,

one

can be able to communicate fluently without being timid.

In addition

, "a friend in need is a

freind

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

friend

indeed,", building good

relationship

with

freinds

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

friends

gives the opportunity when

one

is in need which the

internet

cannot provide.

Also when

Accept comma addition

Also, when

dilema

Suggestion

a dilemma

dilemma

, the adage says "two good heads are better than

one

", with good human

relationship

one

can reason together and get to

conclusion

Suggestion

the conclusion

of the matter.

Furthermore

, having

human

Suggestion

a human relationship

relationship

has contributed greatly in reducing human

psycological

mental or emotional as opposed to physical in nature

psychological

issues

such

as depression, and anxiety which

inturn

Suggestion

in turn

has reduced

rate

Suggestion

the rate

suicidal

Suggestion

suicide

suicides

in our environment. In my opinion, I thereby

conchided

having come or been brought to a conclusion

concluded

concede

that people should spend quality

timein

Suggestion

time in

building

relationship

with

human being

Suggestion

human beings

a human being

rather than being on the

internet

all day.

Submitted by kunle.obisesan on Tue Oct 08 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Organising a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. What can be problems associated with organising a large family event and what solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant from your own knowledge and experience.

some people think that the parents of children who commit crime should also receive a punishment . To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think it is good for a country’s culture to import better films and shows from other countries while others believe that it is better to make their own films and shows. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The plans below show a public Park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In their advertising, buisness usually emphasize that their products are new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think its positive or negative development.