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Writing Samples
Band 4

According to a recent study, the more time people used the internet the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seing the internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion?

#study #time #people #internet #beings #communication #possibilities #effect #interaction
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A recent study has shown that people
spends
Suggestion
spend
 more time on
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 relating
with
Suggestion
to
 human being,
although
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 has helped the world communication
positively but
Accept comma addition
positively, but
 significantly have
negative effect
Suggestion
a negative effect
 on our
relationship
Use synonyms
 with others in our day to day activities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the use of
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 in communication in our environment of today has really contributed positively to the economy and social life by the use of email,
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
 and so on.
For instance
Linking Words
, the people you never dreamed of talking to or knowing in the whole part of the world will be communicated with.
Moreso
United States rock singer (1943-1971)
Morrison
, by sending email to people on
business transaction
Suggestion
business transactions
a business transaction
, within few
seconds you
Accept comma addition
seconds, you
 get your feedback and know the
next
Linking Words
 step to take.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has caused so many people not to be able to
bould
make by combining materials and parts
build
bold
bolt
relationship
Use synonyms
 with
freinds
a person you know well and regard with affection and trust
friends
 or neighbours which can result to low self esteem. Having
Use synonyms
relationship
Suggestion
a relationship
 with human being helps in building
ones
Suggestion
one's
inter-personal
occurring among or involving several people
interpersonal
 skills
such
Linking Words
 as morale, trust, thereby when found in the midst of different people or crowd,
one
Use synonyms
 can be able to communicate fluently without being timid.
In addition
Linking Words
, "a friend in need is a
freind
a person you know well and regard with affection and trust
friend
 indeed,", building good
relationship
Use synonyms
 with
freinds
a person you know well and regard with affection and trust
friends
 gives the opportunity when
one
Use synonyms
 is in need which the
internet
Use synonyms
 cannot provide.
Linking Words
Also when
Accept comma addition
Also, when
 in
dilema
Suggestion
a dilemma
dilemma
, the adage says "two good heads are better than
one
Use synonyms
", with good human
relationship
Use synonyms
one
Use synonyms
 can reason together and get to
conclusion
Suggestion
the conclusion
 of the matter.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having
human
Suggestion
a human relationship
relationship
Use synonyms
 has contributed greatly in reducing human
psycological
mental or emotional as opposed to physical in nature
psychological
 issues
such
Linking Words
 as depression, and anxiety which
inturn
Suggestion
in turn
 has reduced
rate
Suggestion
the rate
 of
suicidal
Suggestion
suicide
suicides
 in our environment. In my opinion, I thereby
conchided
having come or been brought to a conclusion
concluded
concede
 that people should spend quality
timein
Suggestion
time in
 building
relationship
Use synonyms
 with
human being
Suggestion
human beings
a human being
 rather than being on the
internet
Use synonyms
 all day.
Submitted by kunle.obisesan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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