According to a recent study, the more time people used the internet the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seing the internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion?

#study #time #people #internet #beings #communication #possibilities #effect #interaction

A recent study has shown that people

spends

Suggestion

spend

more time on

internet

Suggestion

the internet

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

relating

with

Suggestion

human being,

although

the

internet

has helped the world communication

positively but

Accept comma addition

positively, but

significantly have

negative effect

Suggestion

a negative effect

on our

relationship

with others in our day to day activities.

Firstly

, the use of

internet

Suggestion

the internet

in communication in our environment of today has really contributed positively to the economy and social life by the use of email,

facebook

Suggestion

Facebook

and so on.

For instance

, the people you never dreamed of talking to or knowing in the whole part of the world will be communicated with.

Moreso

United States rock singer (1943-1971)

Morrison

, by sending email to people on

business transaction

Suggestion

business transactions

a business transaction

, within few

seconds you

Accept comma addition

seconds, you

get your feedback and know the

step to take.

However

this

has caused so many people not to be able to

bould

make by combining materials and parts

build

bold

bolt

relationship

with

freinds

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

friends

or neighbours which can result to low self esteem. Having

relationship

Suggestion

a relationship

with human being helps in building

ones

Suggestion

one's

inter-personal

occurring among or involving several people

interpersonal

skills

such

as morale, trust, thereby when found in the midst of different people or crowd,

one

can be able to communicate fluently without being timid.

In addition

, "a friend in need is a

freind

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

friend

indeed,", building good

relationship

with

freinds

a person you know well and regard with affection and trust

friends

gives the opportunity when

one

is in need which the

internet

cannot provide.

Also when

Accept comma addition

Also, when

dilema

Suggestion

a dilemma

dilemma

, the adage says "two good heads are better than

one

", with good human

relationship

one

can reason together and get to

conclusion

Suggestion

the conclusion

of the matter.

Furthermore

, having

human

Suggestion

a human relationship

relationship

has contributed greatly in reducing human

psycological

mental or emotional as opposed to physical in nature

psychological

issues

such

as depression, and anxiety which

inturn

Suggestion

in turn

has reduced

rate

Suggestion

the rate

suicidal

Suggestion

suicide

suicides

in our environment. In my opinion, I thereby

conchided

having come or been brought to a conclusion

concluded

concede

that people should spend quality

timein

Suggestion

time in

building

relationship

with

human being

Suggestion

human beings

a human being

rather than being on the

internet

all day.

Submitted by kunle.obisesan on Tue Oct 08 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

289 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?”
There are debates about wether museum should charge admission or not. However the fact stated that museum with admission fee have a less visitor than the free ones. I must say, charging people for admission to museums has more disadvantages which will be discussed in this essay.
4.5
band
The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Children are the backbone of each and every nation and childhood period is a golden era. Some cliam that parents should share equally the responsibility of rising kids. I strongly agree with this statement because women work like men and two side of moniters help more, this essay shall discuss it briefly in the following reasons.
5.5
band
Today, many people do not know their neighbour in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?
There can be little doubt that a person who doesn't know their neighbour in large cities. This problem is attributed to playing games and being too lazy to go outside but can be addressed by discipline games and encouraging them to go outside do activities, play business and do gymnastics.
6.5
band
The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?
The aboriginal tribes living in the world’s tropical rainforests are descending. For more than a few decades, the rest of the native tribes may have forever evanesced. This essay will discuss one of the main problems associated with indigenous groups living in rainforests in decreasing numbers nowadays and suggest a viable solution.
8
band
Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities. Others say that it depends on other factors. What is your opinion?
There are tremendously controversial perspectives heating a debate over how to get high accomplishments. While some hold a strong view that getting access to Colleges is the sole method, the opposite makes a statement that there are alternative determinants. While each has its own redeeming features, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned statements.

Fully explain your ideas

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?”

The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people do not know their neighbour in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

The number of indigenous tribes living traditional lives in the world’s rainforests is decreasing. Within a few decades the last of these indigenous tribes may have disappeared forever. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities. Others say that it depends on other factors. What is your opinion?