IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?

#tradition #families #meals #impacts
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people have the tendency to eat on their own rather than
have
Suggestion
having
 meals with family. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain some possible reasons leading to
this
Linking Words
 trend and
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 its effects on family and
society
Use synonyms
. There is a wide range of reasons for not getting together at mealtime.
First
Linking Words
, due to the development of technology, people are getting busier even after working hours. That cloud-computing systems allow employees to access to documents and work from anywhere leads to pop-up tasks
from
Suggestion
for
 managers even when they are at homes. People,
therefore
Linking Words
, have less time to take care of their family and have meals together.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of having a fixed working time, workers have more flexibility in arranging their schedule.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there are usually differences in eating routines among members of a family.
This
Linking Words
 trend causes negative impacts on both family and
society
Use synonyms
. Regarding family, not spending time together may break the bonding of family members. Not having meals is not as simple as it may seem. I believe if people choose to prioritize
work to
Accept comma addition
work, to
 family, they show an indication that
family
Suggestion
the family
 is no longer what they most care about and may leave it one day when their affection for work grow strong enough. On a larger scale, it is obvious that families are units that construct the whole
society
Use synonyms
. If a family collapse, its member will have certain dissatisfactions, or worse, they may have mental breakdowns that require social welfares. In conclusion, the disappearance of getting together at mealtime could be attributed to the mentioned reasons and
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon may cause detrimental effects on
family
Suggestion
the family
 and
society
Use synonyms
 as a whole.
Submitted by jessicalee2201 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: