With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

Nowadays many animal
spices
Correct your spelling
species
show examples
are becoming
extinction
Replace the word
extinct
show examples
due to
human activity
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
instance, cutting trees and hunting. In the following
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss some of the biggest problems associated with animal extinction and will propose solutions to tackle
this
problem
. On the one hand, one of the most significant reasons
of assert
Change preposition
for asserting
show examples
animals
is
food
Add an article
a food
the food
show examples
chain.
Firstly
, it can be clearly seen that
animals
also
help us to
providing
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
a part of
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
chain like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
dairy and protein.
Secondly
, the majority of
Add an article
the country
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
in the world
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
.
For example
, Africa
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
Correct article usage
the center
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
of animal species and their people have great income in
this
way.
Thirdly
,
conserve
Wrong verb form
conserving
show examples
animals
not only
does it
Verb problem
apply
show examples
plays a crucial role but
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cones
Correct your spelling
comes
show examples
with
multitude
Correct article usage
a multitude
show examples
benefits
Change preposition
of benefits
show examples
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
animal fertilizer.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
it can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on growth
plants
Change preposition
of plants
show examples
and trees.
On the other hand
, the best way to tackle
tis
Correct your spelling
this
problem
is in the hands of the
high ranking
Add a hyphen
high-ranking
show examples
official.
Moreover
, if the government
enforcing
Wrong verb form
enforces
show examples
draconian punishments we will be faced with less human activity.
Nevertheless
, another factor which must be considered is
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
an improvement
show examples
of
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
. Recent research has shown that
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
counseling
Change the spelling
counselling
show examples
and making people aware could help us to tackle
this
problem
.
Finally
, with
develop
Replace the word
the development of
show examples
provincial towns deforestation will
occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
furthermore
, enhancing building construction should not be run just for financial objectives. In conclusion, today we are suffering from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of natural resources
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
human activity like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
cutting trees and hunting
animals
.
However
,
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
enforcing draconian punishments and providing education we can solve
this
problem
.
Submitted by arsanmirzaee9260 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: