IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is sometimes thought that the people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #country
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In the recent years people travel a lot to other
countriese
Suggestion
countries e
 for
job
Suggestion
a job
 or studies. Some people think that the individuals who migrate to other countries are more tolerable to the difficulties and can understand the other people's problems.
This
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 essay will discuss why I agree with
this
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 opinion. One reason why I think the immigrants have an ability to tolerate and can manage the problems of others is that people tend to adjust the place they are living. By living in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 the individuals have to come in contact with various persons and problems related to job or studies..
Moreover
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, there is no one to help them in difficult situations
.
Accept space
.
For example
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, by working in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 people has to adjust to the customs and tradition of that
country
Use synonyms
,
eventhough
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even though
 they are not used to the same situations. .
In addition
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 to
this
Linking Words
, for one or other reason people help each other. In contrary, others
are believing
Suggestion
believe
 that people going to foreign have difficulty in tolerating things and will not help others is because in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 people are from different nations.
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Therefore they
Accept comma addition
Therefore, they
 cannot adjust various cultures of different people.
Nevertheless
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, I
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
 that by living in different
country
Use synonyms
 people becomes
good
Suggestion
well
 enough to help others. In conclusion, the argument regarding mentality of people who travel to other countries is a debatable issue. I strongly believe that as tolerant as the people help others

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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