IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
It is true that people are judged based on their social
status
 and personal
wealth
 nowadays, and traditional values
such
 as integrity and honesty are being forgotten. To a certain extent, I would agree with the fact that people are valued based on their
wealth
 and
status
 these days, but I
also
 believe that old fashioned values still
plays
Suggestion
play
 an important part in our
societies
Suggestion
society
. It is believed that we are living in the pop culture and
materialistic era
Suggestion
the materialistic era
 these days, as the public judge each individual based on his/her social
status
 and
wealth
. It can be seen from how celebrities become famous nowadays. Many celebrities
are being
Suggestion
have been
 popular because of their physical appearance and personal
wealth
such
 Kim Kardashian. Her reality television program never shows any world class acting quality, but only shows about her luxurious mansions and fancy cars. And
then
 there are other celebrities who are well known due to his/her social
status
 as the son or the daughter of a wealthy family. One of the examples would be Paris Hilton.
Although
 she has many bad attitudes, she is still popular because she inherits the assets of her parents.
Although
 traditional values
such
 as respect others, being responsible, honesty and integrity seem to be forgotten nowadays, but they still play an important part in many communities. In common cases, employers are still assessing their potential employees based their hard working attitude, positive behaviour and their integrity. And
then
 business people are still looking for business partners who are reliable, can be trusted, and dependable.
Therefore
, it is important for adults to educate their children about these positive values because they still play an essential part in the societies. In conclusion, even though people are judged based on their
wealth
 and social
status
 nowadays, but I do believe that old fashioned values
such
 as honour, respect and trust cannot be eliminated from our daily lives.
Therefore we
Accept comma addition
Therefore, we
 must teach our young generation about these cultures, in order for them to survive and succeed in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: