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Band 7

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which type of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #type #benefit
Many people argue about the right
age
 for the
retirement
, according to some, it should be same for all, while others are of the opinion that the profession of an individual should be the criteria to choose the
retirement
age
. In my opinion, for those who works in the industries which demand a high level of physical and mental work should be given early
retirement
 and in
this
 essay, I will provide arguments and examples to support my view.
Firstly
, the idea of standard
retirement
age
 for all professionals is certainly flawed.
This
 is because different jobs require different skills.
For example
, people working in a police department are demanding to have high physical fitness, but since fitness levels decrease with
age
, they should be given early
retirement
.
Secondly
, some job requires a high level of concentration and as
age
 increases the ability to focus on one thing for hours decreases.
For example
, commercial pilots, they have to stay focused for hours and since attention spans tend to decrease as people
age
, they cannot be allowed to work into their 60's.
Likewise
 there are many sectors in which people should get early
retirement
;
for example
 Defence sector, construction and mine worker as their job is physically very challenging.
Moreover
, drivers and security guards have mentally stressful jobs and
hence
 their
retirement
age
 should
also
 be decreased To conclude, a set
retirement
age
 for all is not feasible and people working in industries that demand higher level of physical and mental fitness should be given an early
retirement
. In my opinion, government should consider the nature of the job before deciding the
retirement
age
 of any sector.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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