Some museums have an admission charge while some do not. In my opinion, the drawbacks of an entrance fee are eclipsed by its benefits in the sense that the income will be ploughed back into operation and development of the museums.

Nowadays, there are many museums charge fees for entrance while some do not.
Although
the benefit of admission is that help the government develop
museums but
Accept comma addition
museums, but
the drawback will outweigh due to
declining
Suggestion
the declining number
number
of visitors. On the one hand, one of the main reasons which is considered as a benefit of
this
entrance fees is
making
engage in
doing
a fund to improve museums. In order to develop the
history
Suggestion
historical
historic
places, paying for entrance is necessary.
This
means that, money
collect
Suggestion
collects
from
visitors which
Accept comma addition
visitors, which
use for operations, sanitation services, or so on, leading to improving the qualities of tour that makes visitors more enjoy when
attend
achieved or reached
attained
.
For example
, to reduce the boredom of history exhibition, video clips or 3D screens about the historical events.
On the other hand
, the positive drawback is reducing the
number
of visitors.
Moreover
, since museums play a vital role for educational and historical value, charge for admissions which make difficult for poor people to visit. In fact, there are a
number
of
student
Suggestion
students
, who cannot afford to pay for that
fees
Suggestion
fee
,
as a result
, the
number
of pupils who visits for study purposes will decline.
For instance
, when I was the 5th grade, my teacher organized a tour to visited
War Remnants
Suggestion
the War Remnants
Museum in Ho Chi Minh city, my class had to pay 300 thousand dong for 25 students while travel fees
were
Suggestion
had been
have been
just 100 thousand dong. In conclusion, the advantage of an admission fee is overshadowed by the disadvantage.
Submitted by trangtran4015 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: