It is believed that young people are more interested in international pop singers and movie stars then in history and historical people.why is this?

#people #pop #singers #movie #stars #history

Due to globalisation, many foreign pop musicians and celebrities are famous among the worldwide.

As a result

, the young

people mostly

Accept comma addition

people, mostly

follow them.

However

, some argue that youngsters are not fond of our

history

and they have not interested in to know about freedom fighters.

This

essay will discuss both views and give their opinion.

To begin

with, in technical era

Accept space

young

people mostly

Accept comma addition

people, mostly

devoted to their hobbies

such

as listen music

Accept space

watch movies and so on.

thus

Suggestion

Thus

Accept space

they have a dense interest towards international pop singers and movie stars.

because

Suggestion

Because

they entertain youth via sing

different type

Suggestion

a different type

of songs and act like a real

heroes

Suggestion

hero

secondly

Suggestion

Secondly

, these celebrities are very popular among the youngster and they

also

become a role model for them.

In addition

, they live in

glamour world

Suggestion

the glamour world

and they have a lot of fans following for their stylish looks, living in a luxurious lifestyle and they are trend settles so youth follow their footsteps. Eventually

Accept space

international celebrities are popular because of Paparazzi and technology.

everyday

Suggestion

Every day

Everyday

they are seen at every home on television so people never forget their faces in their life. They are public figures and they host many shows like KBC and coffee with Karan that way they are popular stars in globally.

On the other hand

teenager

Suggestion

teen-agers

are not interested in our

history

.They think it is a useless because

past

Suggestion

the past

is not related to present.

moreover

in addition

Moreover

, students who study science and biology subjects they have not required knowledge of

history

Furthermore

, some students are studying subjects like arts and literature they interested in

history

In addition

juvenile

Suggestion

the juvenile

a juvenile

is not interested in

historical person

Suggestion

the historical person

because our

history

have plethora of freedom fighters

show

to a very great extent or degree

they cannot remember all them. In conclusion,

history

illustrates

Suggestion

illustrated

our

past but

Accept comma addition

past, but

sometime it is a boring for young people.

However

, Juvenile

mostly admire

Suggestion

mostly admires

from international celebrities and pop singers because they

provides

Suggestion

provide

entertainment them.

Thu Oct 10 2019

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is believed that young people are more interested in international pop singers and movie stars then in history and historical people.why is this?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

lt is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at schoo/. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than that only locally made. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The Government Is Wasting Money On Arts And This Money Could Be Better Spent Elsewhere To what extent do you agree or disagree?

1.Some people think its a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than the other workers in a company. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The best way to remove poverty in developing countries is to provide 6 years of free education to all children. So that they can read, write and use numbers agree or disagree.