Some women think that they should not marry as they are financially independent

#women

In a society like ours women have always been told that

marriage

is a thing that brings them financial

support

. So, most people just relate

marriage

with financial stability rather than relating it to a bond that provides you with a constant

support

At early stage due to biological reasons

Accept space

men having more strong bodies and women being emotionally strong, it was decided that it’s the men who will go out for hunting and women will take care of the house and children but nowadays things have changed

Accept space

Women are just no longer the fairer and weaker section of the society. I totally agree with the statement and

also

want to highlight two other major points due to which women’s are thinking of avoiding

marriage

. Many surveys

shows

Suggestion

show

have shown

us that for every 2 boys there are 3 girls who are completing their

study

Suggestion

studies

. Another study

tell

Suggestion

tells

us that nowadays USA

have

Suggestion

has

more number of working force as women than men so the reason for marrying just to get financial benefits has totally vanished. A more recent study shows that 40 percent of

the women in U

Suggestion

women in the U

.S above the age of 30 are unmarried out of which 76 percent earn more than the average income. Another main reason why the women are thinking like

this

is because in a

hook-up

a device providing a connection between a power source and a user

hookup

culture like today

Accept space

they are unable to find a partner for emotional

support

Accept space

In a

countries

Suggestion

country

like Indian many people still thinks that women should sit at home and just take care of the same. Independent girls of

this

generations

Suggestion

generation

are totally against

this

and they do think that their opinion and independence might not be valued enough after the

marriage

. More women

are getting

Suggestion

get

independent day by day and

concept

Suggestion

the concept

marriage

is slowly fading away. They

are preferring

Suggestion

prefer

relationship over

marriage

. Even after 10 years of their relationship they are not getting married as they value their freedom and do not want to give it in someone’s else hand because

its

it is

it's

still believed that after

marriage

women

Suggestion

woman

should shift in with her in-laws. A new outlook of

marriage

is being slowly developed by women. The only factors

that

is governing

Suggestion

are governing

theirs

marriage

nowadays is whether they are getting enough emotional

support

or not.

Submitted by adi.mish1997 on Fri Oct 11 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

376 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some women think that they should not marry as they are financially independent

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. What might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Many schools these days have problems with poor student behavior. Why do you think these problems occur? What could be done to tackle these problems?

International air fares are falling and tourism is growing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of increasing tourism activity?

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that they find the most interest. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.