IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality at work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #employees #dress #quality #work
Some people hold that there is no need for employers to focus on their workers’
dress
. It is the
quality
 of
work
 that should be worth attention.
However
, I claim that both
dress
 and
quality
 of the
work
 should be highlighted. The proponents agree that if regulations are set in a bid to manage
employees’
Suggestion
the employees’ dress
dress
 or if employees are all required to be dressed in the uniforms, their working enthusiasm may be negatively influenced as they were not given enough freedom to demonstrate their personal styles, they may feel their boss interference too much about their daily working life,
thus
 impact on the
quality
 of the
work
. In
this
 circumstance, it is employees’ working
quality
 rather than the
dress
 that should be concerned about.
However
, when we turn to the other side of the argument, there are some points in
favor
promote over another
favour
 of that the employees’
dress
also
 plays an important role in the operation of the company.
First
 and foremost, some workers are required to
dress
 uniforms because it represents the corporate image, especially in some important occasions where employers had to have face-to-face communication with those workers, uniforms make it easy for customers to identify them.
Second
, compared with an awful
dress
, a stylish
dress
 can ensure a pleasant working atmosphere for employees because people are visual animals,
thus
 increasing the working efficiency. In conclusion, I believe that both both employees’
dress
 and the
quality
 of the
work
 should be concerned about because they are important to the running of the whole company.
Submitted by zerotonglin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: