IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they could get a good job once they are released. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#studies #show #criminals #level #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job
Researchers have consistently shown a positive correlation between a person’s level of
education
 and their likelihood of committing a crime. The lower one’s
education
 level, the higher the probability that
this
 person will be sent to
prison
 at some point. Even though I agree that encouraging
education
 is the answer,
education
 whilst in
prison
 is unlikely to fully solve the problem. It is clear that
education
 discourages people from becoming involved in illegal activities.
For example
, research in the UK shows that many criminals do not have the skills and training to work in a
profession
, which means that they struggle to earn money and may be forced to commit crimes by these circumstances.
In contrast
, most jobs requiring special training
provide
Suggestion
to provide
 a good standard of living, and
thus
 remove a major incentive to do anything illegal. When is the best time to provide
education
? People in
prison
 have already committed a crime. While helping them to acquire the knowledge
for
Suggestion
of
 a
profession
 while serving their sentence is important for their future, the best result that
such
 an approach can achieve is to keep them from
reoffending
offending against or breaking a law or rule
offending
. I believe the ultimate goal of our society is to deter people from doing something illegal in the
first
 place. In order to achieve
this
, the government should provide free
education
 to people from underprivileged backgrounds, which would enable them to learn the skills necessary for a
profession
 and prevent them from heading down the criminal path. To conclude, I agree that educating people and training them for a
profession
 would help to prevent many from committing crimes;
however
, providing accessible
education
 before one becomes a criminal would be more effective than waiting for them to go to
prison
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: