IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the organization’s success, while others think various features of the organization play a vital role in it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Every organisation works in a hierarchy including chief executive officers, managers and other subordinates. Some people believe that top management is responsible for the firm's success.
However
Linking Words
, a handful of people think that other parameters play an indispensable role in achieving the goal of an organisation. I am
strong advocate
Suggestion
a strong advocate
 of
this
Linking Words
 approach and will discuss the benefits in
above paragraphs
Suggestion
the above paragraphs
. To embark on,
company's executives
Suggestion
the company's executives
 play a vital role as the whole responsibility is on their shoulders.
Also
Linking Words
, they are paid huge salary and become perfect in his fields, so they paid full attention towards
venture's work
Suggestion
the venture's work
.
For instance
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,
Google
Use synonyms
CEO Mr
Accept comma addition
CEO, Mr
 Sundar Pichai
,
Accept space
,
engineer by profession, worked as a product manager
in
Suggestion
at
Google
Use synonyms
 company and after multiple innovations and development in applications
such
Linking Words
 as
Google
Use synonyms
chrome
another word for chromium when it is used in dyes or pigments
Chrome
,
Google
Use synonyms
 drive
etcetera
Suggestion
, make
Google
Use synonyms
 a well known company in the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, not only management but other factors
such
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 as salary packages, modern infrastructure, conducive workplace environment, firm's plans and policies play an important role in the victory of an organisation.
For example
Linking Words
, in school and universities, teachers
do
engage in
make
 more effort in making up the result of the school than
principal
Suggestion
principally
 who have an eye on management works only. To pen down, Every coin has two sides.
If
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 well qualified workforce is required to run the business than other factors will
also
Linking Words
 take under consideration. In my opinion, single flower cannot make the garland, it is the joint responsibility of
administrator
Suggestion
administering
administrating
 and workforce to work by giving importance to other points
also
Linking Words
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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