the line chart below shows the results of survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country.

the line chart below shows the results of survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country.
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The provided line chart set out the main motivations
people
Use synonyms
express for moving to the capital city of a specific country between 2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph suggests the number of
people
Use synonyms
relocating to the city rose across the period. Employment was the main reason
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
some distance, despite a
merge
Replace the word
merger
show examples
fall in number from 2010. Studying in another city saw the greatest
overall
Linking Words
increase,
while
Linking Words
family and friends,
as well as
Linking Words
adventure,
seeing
Wrong verb form
saw
show examples
a relatively slow but steady rise. As can be seen, survey results show that in 2000, 60000
people
Use synonyms
migrate to another country for finding job opportunities,
whereas
Linking Words
one-sixth of them moved for their families and friends and adventure. 25000
people
Use synonyms
claim that they move for studying which with a significant climb reached just under 50000 in 2005.
This
Linking Words
is followed by
noticeable
Add an article
a noticeable
show examples
increase, before its plunge to approximately 90000 in 2015. Both
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
for adventure and visiting relatives and friends experienced steady growth and reached about 15000 and 22000 respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, at first employment like studying increased considerably, following a marked rise which was 7000 higher than
2005
Change preposition
in 2005
show examples
(about 92000), and
then
Linking Words
decreased slightly to the same number as studying (90000).
Submitted by daniiikh74 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • migration
  • employment opportunities
  • educational facilities
  • vibrant lifestyle
  • healthcare access
  • medical services
  • social connections
  • infrastructure
  • transport facilities
  • data trends
  • survey results
  • capital city
  • allure
  • motivating factor
  • influencing
  • attracting
  • analysis
  • evaluation
  • assessment
  • consideration
  • exploration
  • introduction
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