the line chart below shows the results of survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country.

#line #results #survey #people #city #country

The provided line chart set out the main motivations

people

express for moving to the capital city of a specific country between 2000 and 2015.

Overall

, the graph suggests the number of

people

relocating to the city rose across the period. Employment was the main reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

some distance, despite a

merge

Replace the word

merger

show examples

fall in number from 2010. Studying in another city saw the greatest

overall

increase,

while

family and friends,

as well as

adventure,

seeing

Wrong verb form

saw

show examples

a relatively slow but steady rise. As can be seen, survey results show that in 2000, 60000

people

migrate to another country for finding job opportunities,

whereas

one-sixth of them moved for their families and friends and adventure. 25000

people

claim that they move for studying which with a significant climb reached just under 50000 in 2005.

This

is followed by

noticeable

Add an article

a noticeable

show examples

increase, before its plunge to approximately 90000 in 2015. Both

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

for adventure and visiting relatives and friends experienced steady growth and reached about 15000 and 22000 respectively.

In contrast

, at first employment like studying increased considerably, following a marked rise which was 7000 higher than

2005

Change preposition

in 2005

show examples

(about 92000), and

then

decreased slightly to the same number as studying (90000).

Submitted by daniiikh74 on Tue Oct 15 2019

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

197 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
migration
employment opportunities
educational facilities
vibrant lifestyle
healthcare access
medical services
social connections
infrastructure
transport facilities
data trends
survey results
capital city
allure
motivating factor
influencing
attracting
analysis
evaluation
assessment
consideration
exploration
introduction

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the line chart below shows the results of survey giving the reasons why people moved to the capital city of a particular country.

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People from older generations have difficulty using smartphones and new technology. What is the cause of this? What are some possible solutions?