IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Do teenagers be punished with lengthy jail terms for their criminal acts or should they be given a chance or re-educated or rehaithuated, using community service programs?

It is recommended that younger children would be penalized by long-term lockup for their crime or they should get the education about the better person in society with the help of various facilities.
Although
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, the youngest should able to get one chance to prove them as a good person in the community and
also
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 they improve themselves. On the one hand, while the younger children could be punished with long-time spend in jail, they cannot safe because that place does not perfect for them and they can be connected with other criminals and learning more criminal activities. So, it is dangerous to other people and it can be harmful to others.
Subsequently
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, the teenager has a long life alive and they should take one chance to improve themselves.
Moreover
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, adult children should be taken higher study by using the public system and improve their ability and knowledge. It can be useful for them in the future because their long life and their life they should get education and skills for better persons of society.
Also
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, they can be helpful for society to increase the economy and sometimes, it can be useful to teach other children.
As a result
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, it can be reduced the crime rate of town and a peaceful environment. To conclude, youngsters have been punishing of their criminal acts by permanent gaol rather either provide the education by using a diverse service.
However
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, they should take a chance to improve themselves to the community as a flawless person.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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