IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important while other people think that a stable job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about how to stabilise the
job
Use synonyms
 position.
However
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, whether we should put the
job
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 security in the
first
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 place has become a controversial issue. I agree with the view that
job
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 satisfaction is far more important for employees.
Firstly
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, it is obvious that people who are doing
improper
Suggestion
an improper job
job
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 will not be satisfied with it. The staff in the company will find that he
can not
can not
cannot
 maximise his talent, which will bring negative effect on his working ability.
Therefore
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, the intrinsic
job
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 dissatisfaction will do harm both to individual and organisation, even though the
job
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 is permanent.
Moreover
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, sometimes the
job
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 dissatisfaction comes from outside factors
such
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 as the stressful relationship with superiors and colleagues, low salary and uncomfortable working environment, which will
also
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 dismantle the enthusiasm and vitality in the workplace.
As a result
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, the working efficiency and productivity will
also
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 be decreased. So
this
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 kind of extrinsic
job
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 dissatisfaction should be avoided too.
That is
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 not to say that the
job
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 security is not desirable at all. Some people prefer to have a permanent
job
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 without worrying about getting fired so that they could spare no efforts to work. But to be honest,
this
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 situation is to some extent kind of idealism. In sum,
job
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 satisfaction is far more important than
job
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 security as long as we want to boost the economy; meanwhile, we should not forget to provide the guaranteed position for the benefit of workers. Only by doing so can we ensure that every employee in the workplace can make the most contribution.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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