IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, governments should prioritise health care. Other people believe that there are more important priorities for taxpayers' money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #taxes #governments #prioritise #health #care #priorities #taxpayers #money
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Administrations around the world have a range of financial responsibilities.
Health
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care
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 is an important
government
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 service that requires high levels of funding.
While
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 some members of the community feel that
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health
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healthcare
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care
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services
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 are the top priority for
government
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 funding, others believe that governments should be prioritizing
education
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.
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Health
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Healthcare
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care
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services
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 play a critical role in the general
wellbeing
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well-being
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 of our communities. At some point in our lives, we will all require professional medical assistance.
In particular
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, children and the elderly are the demographic groups that tend to need more access to
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health
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healthcare
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care
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 facilities. Unfortunately, the young are often least able to take
care
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 of themselves. They need assistance to deal with the range of
health
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 issues that might confront them in their lives. Governments are charged with
this
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 responsibility
,
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apply
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 and must devote significant financial resources to the provision of medical
services
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.
However
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, providing
health
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care
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 for the public is an expensive undertaking, and some people contend that these funds should be devoted to other public
services
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. One argument suggests that the
health
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 of an individual is the responsibility of that individual. People
that
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who
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 refuse to take good
care
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 of their own
health
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 should not be given the support of a
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government funded
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government-funded
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health
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care
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 system. The argument holds that it is better to prioritize the funding of
education
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 than to give money to people
that
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who
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 have chosen to live unhealthy lifestyles.
To conclude
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, the prioritizing of funding for public
services
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 is a difficult task. Both
education
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 and
health
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care
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 are important priorities for the administrators of all countries. Perhaps a good compromise would be more
government
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 funding for public
education
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 on
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health
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healthcare
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care
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 issues.
Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both views on prioritizing government spending on health care and education. Well done!
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good coherence and cohesion with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are logically connected, making the essay easy to follow.
task response
Clear presentation of arguments for both health care and education priorities
coherence cohesion
Well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Fundamental need
  • 2. Economic growth and development
  • 3. Workforce productivity
  • 4. Preventive health care
  • 5. Cost-effective
  • 6. Long-term outcomes
  • 7. Health disparities
  • 8. Social equity
  • 9. Socioeconomic status
  • 10. Vulnerable populations
  • 11. Infrastructure
  • 12. Quality of life
  • 13. Knowledgeable workforce
  • 14. Economic propellers
  • 15. Balanced approach
  • 16. Diverse allocation
  • 17. Societal development
  • 18. Robust economic performance
  • 19. Public funds
  • 20. Health system burden
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