IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #growth #hunger #poverty #environment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While there are people who think the eradication of
poverty
Use synonyms
 very much depends on the development in
Use synonyms
economy
Suggestion
the economy
, others believe that it should be ceased due to deleterious effects on
Use synonyms
environment
Suggestion
the environment
. In my opinion, economic growth is necessary to alleviate
poverty
Use synonyms
 and raise living standards, but the preservation of
Use synonyms
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 is
also
Linking Words
 needed to be taken into account. On one hand, a booming
economy
Use synonyms
 increases living standards and lift people out of extreme
poverty
Use synonyms
. People drive benefit from higher living standards, as it opens up ample employment opportunities for young people, so they can stand on their own feet without living off their parents in
late 20s
Suggestion
the late 20s
 and early 30s.
This
Linking Words
 encourages early marriage and enables the youth to get a job to save money to start a family.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if young people can afford a family life, they will less likely get caught up in dishonest relationship and have
happier life
Suggestion
a happier life
happier lives
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the development of
Use synonyms
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 makes people more affluent, the irreparable damage it causes on
Use synonyms
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 is irrefutable. Economic growth increases
productivity which
Accept comma addition
productivity, which
 leads to the more consumption of non renewable resources. The pollution they impose on
Use synonyms
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 can maintain for years.
For example
Linking Words
, the use of plastic
which when
Accept comma addition
which, when
 deposed of do not degrade. And so many toxic waste emitted from factories jeopardize our health and causes environmental destruction, as these pollutants sustain
on
indefinite article, "an" is use before a vowel sound, "a" otherwise
an
environment
Use synonyms
 for long. In conclusion,
Linking Words
however economic
Accept comma addition
however, economic
 advancement has a detrimental impact on
Use synonyms
environment
Suggestion
the environment
, it is a must for every country to boost its
economy
Use synonyms
. Since it enhances
people
Suggestion
peoples
 's living conditions and disentangles them from
poverty
Use synonyms
 besetting many
underpriveldge
Suggestion
society
Suggestion
societies
. I am of the opinion that the merits of economic progress
outweight
be heavier than
outweigh
 its drawbacks. Because it provides welfare benefits and services for people so that they can be better off and apply
Use synonyms
environment
Suggestion
environmentally
 friendly methods to mitigate its harmful effects.
Submitted by sarahasani1371 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: