IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people beleive that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #beleive #choices #diagree
many
Suggestion
Many
 of educated human resources, whether the fees for the tertiary
education
 should be payable by students or by the state, is always a debatable
matter
 among
educationists
. Some people think that it must be fully paid by the
government
, as it is a
matter
 of success for any nation, whereas, others oppose it.
However
, I think that, students must pay their fees by themselves. The reasons of my inclination, are explained in trailed paragraphs.
Firstly
, students, who have already completed schooling and moving ahead for their tertiary
education
, are mature enough to earn as well as study together.
Additionally
, earning while studying, can inculcate several essential skills,
such
 as time and
money
 management. The pupils, who are studying by their own
money
, can have a better understanding of the value of
money
.
For example
, a recent survey, carried out by the Oxford university, has revealed that, the students, who are responsible to pay their own fees in the college, are more successful in their lives and they can evolve into better citizens of the nation.
Secondly
, there are some people in the country, who do not get a one-time meal, potable water and even the primary
education
, let alone the higher
education
. So, governments must spend
money
 to provide the basic necessities to citizens,
instead
 of spending for the college students.
Although
, the
government
 can provide a certain types of loans and subsidies to the students, who are bright, but cannot afford because of the lack of funds.
For instance
, the developed countries,
such
 as the UK and the US, have accepted that the reason behind their success is not spending
money
 on university students, but it is, spending
money
 on primary children. To conclude, as providing the university
education
 is not the responsibility of the
government
, students must pay their fees by their own. With an ever increasing demand of educated human resources, whether the fees for the tertiary
education
 should be payable by students or by the state, is always a debatable
matter
 among
educationistss
. Some people think that it must be fully paid by the
government
, as it is a
matter
 of success for any nation, whereas, others oppose it.
However
, I think that, students must pay their fees by themselves. The reasons of my inclination, are explained in trailed paragraphs.
Submitted by saranya010694 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: