IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #areas #change
Some people would argue that it is necessary to ban
tourism
 in some places to preserve local culture, while others think that it is not needed because those places no longer have importance as it was in the past. I agree with the
first
 statement and believe that we should leave the local live in their ways. On the one hand, it is necessary to ban
tourism
 in some sacred places. The locals use those places to strengthen their relation to others as well as the God. Unfortunately, many tourists do not understand it and tend to be busy with their activities only,
such
 as taking pictures and chatting with other visitors.
As a result
, the locals find it difficult to concentrate and have spiritual communication with their creators.
For example
, the Sultan Mosque in Singapore is closed during prayer times to allow people from the surrounding to pray in it without any disturbance from tourists. I believe
this
 the correct approach for those holy places.
On the other hand
, preventing tourists from visiting places which have lost their original functions is unnecessary. There are many places which were important in the past, but it does not have critical functions anymore these days.
Such
 places are more beneficial if they are converted into tourist attractions.
For example
, the Borobudur temple today is entirely for
tourism
instead
 of the place for meditation as it was in the past. I agree
this
 view because it does not threat the local culture. In conclusion,
tourism
 should be banned in places where the original functions of those places remain unchanged,
however
,
this
 is not applicable for places which have lost their functions and will be beneficial if it is converted into tourist attractions.
Submitted by suriansy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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