IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.other,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it,should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Disscuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account #punishment #disscuss
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people think about should be fixed
punishment
Use synonyms
 for all
type
Suggestion
types
 of
crime
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
people argue that we should not give
punishment
Use synonyms
 we should only give motivation and awareness about the
crime
Use synonyms
 and after that we should live the individuals. In my point of view
,
Accept space
,
its
it is
it's
 a good
think
a special situation
thing
 and good
impristion
a vague idea in which some confidence is placed
impression
 to live criminal people without
punishment
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
most of the people believe that every person
have
Suggestion
has
 equal rights being a citizen. They should give comments about criminal
people
Accept comma addition
people, although
although
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
we should give equal
punishment
Use synonyms
 for every person for every
crime
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
Because these types of individuals think about our young
genration
all the people living at the same time or of approximately the same age
generation
generations
.
Accept space
.
They think that if we give hung till death as a
punishment
Use synonyms
 its not a good thing as a human
being its
Accept comma addition
being, its
sign
Suggestion
a sign
 of
cruality
a cruel act; a deliberate infliction of pain and suffering
cruelty
quality
 and brutality against human. So, In my point of view
,
Accept space
,
its
it is
it's
 not a good rule against the
crime
Use synonyms
 if we give equal
punishment
Use synonyms
 for every
Use synonyms
crime so,
Suggestion
crime, so
its
it is
it's
 a way to increase the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
some people give suggestion about
crime
Use synonyms
 they think that we should not give
punishment
Use synonyms
 to
crimnal
someone who has committed a crime or has been legally convicted of a crime
criminal
criminals
 people.
but
Suggestion
But
 we should give motivation and awareness about
Use synonyms
crime
Suggestion
the crime
 so
,
Accept space
,
in
this
Linking Words
 way we overcome
crime
Use synonyms
 in our society. They think that
punishment
Use synonyms
 is not for human because humans are very intelligent
punishment
Use synonyms
 are only for animals so
,
Accept space
,
we do not punish. In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
this
Linking Words
types
Suggestion
type
 of people are right about
human
Suggestion
the human
humans
 because if we give
punishment
Use synonyms
 than
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 think they do not come
bach
in or to or toward a former location
back
 to right way they more
invlove
connect closely and often incriminatingly
involve
 criminal activities. In conclusion, some of people
argu
present reasons and arguments
argue
argued
argues
 that
punishment
Use synonyms
 is necessary for criminal and the other
are
Suggestion
is
 that
punishment
Use synonyms
 are not for human.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: