Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #women #role #men #country’s #police #force #army #kinds #jobs

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On the one hand, having children at

Suggestion

he later years of

life

Use synonyms

has many advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

helps women to focus their career without any interruption, which may be caused by family

life

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can allow women to attain the highest position in their job sectors, eventually, they could not only financially stable, but academically achieve many things in their

life

Use synonyms

as well. Take a recent research report as an example that point out that, becoming a mother definitely lead a lot of challenges in female em

ployees

Suggestion

employee's

employee

life

Use synonyms

and their career may end up there.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, when a female staff becomes a mother in her either 30’s or 40’s, can risk both mother and child

life

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since

this

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is considered as a high risk pregnancy. Apart from these, they may find child care extremely difficult as their age advance. There must be a problem of generation gaps may arise and children may encounter difficulty in adopting with parents’ habit sometimes vice versa.

Submitted by Sal on Thu Oct 24 2019

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

168 words

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Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

People who damage public property, such as buildings or statues should be required to do community service (such as cleaning parks) as a punishment rather than other forms of punishment (such as paying a fine or going to prison). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people work long hour, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?