Some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?
A
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
side
can be described as being more quiet in comparison to a city
or town. More young people
are relocating to live in cities, thereby leaving only old people
in the country
Correct your spelling
countryside
side
. This
move is usually in the pursuit of better opportunities in education, jobs and business. A resultant effect of this
being
overcrowding and Wrong verb form
is
increased
crime rate in the Correct article usage
an increased
city
.
To start with, overcrowding, also
known as overpopulation tends to put a strain on the available resources in the city
. When this
happens the cost of living becomes inflated as there are less
resources available to cater for the growing population. Let us take Change the quantifier
fewer
for
instance, the Add the comma(s)
, for
city
of Lagos in Nigeria. The population is estimated to be 21 million and comfortable housing cost
nothing less than 1 million annually.
Again, there are Wrong verb form
costs
less
jobs to cater to the increasing demand of the population in these cities and when Change the quantifier
fewer
this
happens, young people
take to crime in a bid to survive. For example
, in Nigeria, Port Harcourt is known to be the hub of kidnapping. This
wouldn’t be so if there were better job opportunities for the youths. I am in no way trying to defend the actions of criminals but just stating that there will
be a noticeable drop in crime rates if there were more available jobs.
To remedy Wrong verb form
would
this
situation, there should be job creation in the country
Correct your spelling
countryside
side
, so young people
have a reason to stay. The quality of education should als
be standard, so parents don’t see the need to send Correct your spelling
also
theirs
kids to school in towns. The government can Correct the word
their
also
play an important role by funding small and medium enterprises and bringing other development initiatives to the country
Correct your spelling
countryside
side
.
In conclusion, once there are equal opportunities available to the young in the city
and countryside, the need to move to the city
will decrease immensely.Submitted by steph_annieg on
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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the given prompt by discussing the problems caused by the migration of young people to the cities and providing solutions to the situation. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more specific and comprehensive in addressing the issue.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is generally maintained, with clear progression between ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion require more development to provide a stronger framework for the essay. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices can be improved to create smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.