IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It has been seen that these days, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development.

#workplaces #numbers #men #women #workers #development
It is now a trend in multinational companies and large organizations to give equal roles to women employees in the workplace.
This
 is a very healthy initiative which has led to an increase in the number of women being employed and the numbers are now catching up with that of the male employees in
such
 organizations. In my view,
this
 is a highly positive development which has got a plethora of merits for our nation.
Firstly
, talent and hard work of any individual needs to be appreciated and awarded without any discrimination.
Such
 policies help organizations realize the potential of their employees and achieve their business goals faster.
For example
, the turnaround story of Pepsico from crisis by choosing a non-board-member women to be their chief illustrates the point.
Secondly
, a recent study by the University of California on the workplace gender ratio showed that teams with an equal proportion of men and women tend to be more productive than those dominated by one gender. NASA, the most successful space exploration agency, uses the results of
this
 study in structuring their teams and to plan even their interplanetary mission crews.
Although
 it is understandable that women are physically weak as compared to men and that they are not completely out of the age-old social stigma which makes them take up more responsibilities towards their families, they have made up for
such
 negative factors by their sheer hard work and persistence. So, women being treated and employed just like any other human being is one of the biggest revolutions which is happening in our times and it holds the key for the sustainable development of any nation in the world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: