Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities or towns, only old people live in the countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem?

These days villages and towns are becoming a victim of migrating youth to cities not only in the 2nd and 3rd world but

also

in the industrious nation. The problem of urban migration which has now taken the shape of a burning issue is caused by e

numerable

too numerous to be counted

innumerable

reasons which is accompanied by many possible adverse effects. In my o

pinion some

Accept comma addition

opinion, some

stringent counter measures should be initiated to alleviate

this

hassle. The rapid urbanization depriving the villages of its own young talent pool.

Therefore

, the society is not thriving,

also

triggering social imbalances like Young-A

dults

Suggestion

Adult

ratio. To justify I would quote the research conducted by World Economic Forum, the average percentage of elderly living in the rural sectors across the world is 60% whereas younger citizens accounted for only 23%.

Furthermore

, i

ncrease

Suggestion

the increase

an increase

increases

in chronic diseases

such

as Diabetes and heart ailments, inaccessibility of emotional and physical support impacts the life expectancy of the elderly citizens surviving alone in c

ountryside.

Suggestion

the countryside

Another factor to be considered is u

nderdevelopment

Suggestion

under development

and pitiable primary care facilities. It is high time, contingent steps ought to be initiated to curb the detrimental impact of rapid urbanization and desertion of rural areas by younger people. One of the most significant and advisable processes for preventing

this

migration of youth from rural area is that we make conscious efforts to create job opportunities, premium health care support, infrastructure in the rural areas. Apart from

this

, collaboration with NGOs to regularly check on the elderly wellbeing in rural areas.

Last

but not the least, the authorities should introduce strict legislation to mitigate the risks faced by rural senior citizens. In conclusion, I recapitulate my views that enumerable social and economic consequences are triggered by myriad factors of migrating young people to cities, but it n

eed

Suggestion

needs

immediate attention.

Submitted by mrudula.dwi on Wed Oct 30 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities or towns, only old people live in the countryside? What are the problems of this issue? What can be done to solve this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

People continue to commit crime even after being punished for it . Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to the regional areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that a person improves intellctual skills better when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

how can we reduce the number of people living in a poverty? How can government tackle this problem?

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?