The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by 20% in last 20 years. Discuss the causes and effects of disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #countries #years #effects #trend

this

advanced and technology driven society

Accept space

there is an increase in overweight children in the past couple of decades. Change in

food

habit and lack of exercise are

main cause

Suggestion

the main cause

with adverse effect on health. Internet and television have made the situation

more worst

Suggestion

worse

worst

. Inception of overweight in children

start

Suggestion

starts

with the junk

food

they eat, In

this

fast moving environment guardian are the one who

show

Suggestion

shows

kids the way to fast

food

. In

this

corporate lifestyle we have reduced cooking

food

at home become dependent on junk

food

and sugary drinks. We all know how dangerous are

this

sugary

drinks

Suggestion

drink

. Luring advertisement and holding have added more fuel

in to

expresses motion to a point on, or within, something

into

this

problem, younger generation

easily get

Suggestion

easily gets

attracted and become

pray

a person who is the aim of an attack (especially a victim of ridicule or exploitation) by some hostile person or influence

prey

this

junk

food

industries

Suggestion

industry

Also due

Accept comma addition

Also, due

digitization

Suggestion

the digitization

and

internet

Suggestion

the internet

, Outdoor activities have

decreasing which

Suggestion

decreasing, which

decreased which

decreased decreased which

also

Suggestion

increasing concern. Due to more prone to outside

food

and unhealthy

drinks obesity

Accept comma addition

drinks, obesity

is increasing

more rapidly

Suggestion

most rapidly

and

kids

Suggestion

kid's

kids'

body becoming house for multiple decease and restlessness which is making them more violent. There is a decreasing interest in social involvement and connection with

neighbourhood

Suggestion

the neighbourhood

Recent study

Suggestion

A recent study

Recent studies

The recent study

done by world health organization shows

increase

Suggestion

an increase

of cardiac and diabetes is increasing more rapidly in younger. It

also

published that the average life of

human

Suggestion

a human

humans

is decreasing. Obesity is making the newer generation more decease prone and disconnected from society

Fri Nov 01 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

230 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by 20% in last 20 years. Discuss the causes and effects of disturbing trend.

Fully explain your ideas

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at the same time, the military services are in need of people. Compulsory military service is beneficial and necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation’s population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Topic: Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is reducing the amount of maximum speed of vehicles. Others think that other ways exist. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was bought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away?