IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed.What is the reason for doing this ? IS this a negative or positive development ?

#parents #pressure #children #reason #development
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In
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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ages
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age
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, we all are stuck in a rat race where success is only measured quantitatively . No one
want
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wants
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 to stay behind in
this
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 competition and our parents are
also
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 trying their best so that we can get a competitive edge over others.
Its
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It
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 is empirical that,
while
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 doing so , they are often putting enormous
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their adolescents.
This
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 essay will analyze the negative impact of
this
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 development before drawing a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
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logical conclusion . First and Foremost , putting too much
anxieties
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anxiety
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 over students for better
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
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often troubles the natural development of the kids . Many students fail to handle
this
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 excessive workload and
crumbles
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crumble
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.
For instance
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, after any major public exam result
Add a missing verb
is release
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release
Replace the word
released
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 we hear
many
Replace the quantifier
much
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 suicidal news committed by failed students which are nothing but the
consequesnces
Correct your spelling
consequences
consequence
 of extravagant expectations. Apparently ,
this
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 tendency is killing the natural intent of each
children
Change to a singular noun
child
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.
As a
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result
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result,
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 they fail to grow as an independent individual and
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also
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apply
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their leadership skills die
at
Change preposition
in
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 their formative years .
On the other hand
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 ,
peoples
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people
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 who are forced to
take
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make
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decissions
Correct your spelling
decisions
 just because of the imposed
pressure
Use synonyms
 ,
often
Add a missing verb
are often
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 unable to discover their
interal
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internal
 talent and
thus
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 become easily subjugated by others . Their muteness and less challenging
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
 make them just
a
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apply
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numb .
For example
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, in
recently
Add an article
the recently
a recently
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 released article ,
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apply
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it
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apply
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shows in recent years number of dissatisfied workers
rise
Wrong verb form
has risen
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 to
manyfolds
Correct your spelling
manifolds
many folds
 and experts claim
its
Correct your spelling
it is
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 happening because of
Correct article usage
a lack
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of hazardous upbringing .
In addition
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 to, that it is
also
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 observed that
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 are suffering from many health hazards which are just because of the
high
Add a hyphen
high-pressure
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pressure
Use synonyms
 seeds our progenitors sowed in our childhood . In a nutshell ,
dissiminating
Correct your spelling
disseminating
pressure
Use synonyms
 situations by imposing
abormal
Correct your spelling
abnormal
 anticipations on our minors can only bring adverse
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 to the mental and
physcial
Correct your spelling
physical
 development of our kids . We should
try
Add the particle
try to
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 create a friendly environment in our household where kids
are learned
Wrong verb form
learn
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not only to grow but
also
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 to be
a
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apply
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perfect and balanced
human
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humans
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.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: